The FrenchEnglishCombo Of Doom Story
by Un Franais
Summary: Dis be duh FECOD storeh. It be about duh FECOD. And Group Team. We musn't forget Group Team... T T
1. Intro Of Crap

A IndigoIceCream and Un Franais and Superkella and Superkellas and little sister (who I will call minikella) were all busy leading the combo French-English-Japanese combo of doom when suddenly Un Franais annoying little brother crawled in. He was wet and muddy and the sick .  
>"Please oh mighty brother ... please ... * cough * help me ... I was a fool ever defy you ..." He said.<br>Everyone looked.  
>"Déjà vu ..." Itachi said.<br>"How fucking sad is that." Hidan said.  
>"Can I eat it?" Zetsu asked.<br>"No!" Un Franais shouted "He's my brother! Do him no harm! "  
>Un Franais a brother (now named Princess) rose.<br>"Thank you brother." He said.  
>"If you want us to help you, you must prove you're worth helping." IIC said wickedly.<br>Superkella, and Minikella and Un Franais all nodded.  
>"Yeah, you need to give us something we would really like. Nothing cheap." Minikella said.<br>Princess nodded.  
>"I'll buy something amazing!" He said as he left to buy something.<br>"Oh boy! What will we get? "Superkella asked.  
>"It better be good." IIC said.<br>IIC, Un Franais, and Superkella Minikella all left to hang out with their favorite characters. Got to have Deidara all to herself, Superkella played with Tobi, Un Franais and IIC had a fight to the death over Hidan. Fortunately, they were both Jashinists, so they were immortal. Hidan was watching them fight and was cheering and applauding.

After three full days, Princess finally came back. He had a plastic bag with him and he had no money left.  
>"Here's your present." He said.<br>"Oh boy! I want it first! "IIC yelled as she pushed everyone out of her path.  
>"I am the boss! I should get it first! "Shouted Un Franais.<br>IIC and Un Franais had another fight to the death.  
>"I bet IIC, my best friend will win." Superkella said.<br>"Whatever. The super amazing Un Franais will win. "Minikella said.  
>Everyone watched the fight. IIC had won this round and opened the bag.<br>"Oh My Jashin!" She screamed as she looked inside.  
>"What! What !" The other screamed.<br>"It's ... It ... "This was so incredible that IIC could not even tell what it was.

IIC dropped the bag in shock and fainted. Hidan started kicking her in the head.  
>Everyone looked in the bag.<br>"Oh My Jashin!" they all shouted at the same time "It's amazing!"

In the plastic bag was a beheaded Sakura, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Sora and Kabuto.  
>"You ... you can join the French-English-Japanese combo of doom... "Superkella said with tears of joy in his eyes.<br>"Wait!" Un Franais shouted "He is not a JASHINIST!"

Everyone gasped. It was so shocking, IIC woke up when she heard it. There was a pause before IIC princess took up by the throat and threw him out the door. She had thrown him so far, he ended up in Konoha. Everyone recognized as murderer and they threw him into a dungeon. The French-English-Japanese Combo Of Doom continued to be bad and bad ass without any stupid annoying ass holeish people like Princess disturbing their awesomeness.


	2. Second Chapter Of Crap

It was another beautiful day in the combo French-English-Japanese combo of Doom. There was a storm outside. Everyone was playing in the Akatsuki hideout with their friends. Minikella helped Deidara blow up Tobi, Superkella went to eat popcorn with Kisame and Itachi while they watched jaws. Un Franais and IIC were having another battle and Hidan was clapping his hands and shouting encouragement. The other members were just walking around.

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door. Everyone stopped what they were doing. Superkella went to the door and opened it. Outside, in the pouring rain stood Princess. Princess looked PISSED.  
>"Oh. Hey there, princess. " Superkella laughed as she let him in.<br>Princess walked into the hideout and looked everyone angrily.  
>"You guys liked it!" He shouted "Did you like my gift!"<br>"But you are not a Jashinist" IIC said.  
>"I am now. I converted. "Princess said.<br>Hidan, being the Jashin, jumped in then.  
>"Have you done the rituals? Are you immortal, bitch? "He asked<br>"Those rituals are suicide. I don't want to kill myself." Princess said.  
>"They all did and they are fine." Hidan said as he pointed Superkella, Minikella, IIC and Un Franais.<br>They all waved and smiled. Princess didn't want to, but did the ritual and became immortal.  
>"Yay! You can join us now!" Everyone said they hugged princess.<br>Princess was very happy and left with Minikella to do little kid stuff. It left: Superkella, IIC and Un Franais. Superkella IIC and left to watch the rest of jaws with Itachi and Kisame. Un Franais was all alone. Pein, then went to Un Franais  
>"Do you want to hang out with Konan and I?" He asked.<br>Un Franais nodded and left with Pein.

Minikella and Princess were to have a lot of fun playing. They were playing with small toys and drawing pictures with crayons. Minikella, Superkella and IIC were all from New Zealand, and Princess and Un Franais came from France. Akatsuki members were from Japan. This is where the French-English-Japanese Combo Of Doom's name comes from..  
>"You'll really like it here." Minikella said "We have fun every day and we will conquer the world!"<br>"Wow! We will be like gods! "Princess said.  
>"When I'm god, I'll make everyone give me what I want!" Minikella said.<br>"Cool". Princess said.

Princess knew that his older brother, Un Franais, would never let him become a god. He would be like the god's pet.

Un Franais was with Pein and Konan. They talked about what it would be like to rule the world.  
>"I'm already the god of a village." Pein said.<br>"I'm already an angel." Konan said.  
>"I'm already impressive." Said Un Franais<br>"Together, we make the ultimate God!" They all shouted.

And that is the purpose of the combo French-English-Japanese Doom.


	3. Third Chapter Of Crap

In the French-English-Japanese Combo Of Doom, everyone was having lots of fun. Minikella was playing 'lets kill Tobi' with Deidara, IIC was playing 'Lets Fuck Up Kakuzu' with Hidan, Princess was playing 'Don't Get Eaten By Zetsu' with Kisame, Superkella was playing 'Steal The Sharingan' with Itachi (who didn't want to play) and Un Franais was playing 'World Domination' with Konan and Pein.

Superkella hid behind the couch and waited for Itachi to walk past. She sneakily looked over the couch to see IIC and Hidan, covered in blood and running in her direction. They were being chased by 7 long, black tentacles. Superkella squealed and ducked behind the couch. She closed her eyes and shielded her head with her arms. Hidan and IIC jumped over the couch and hid beside her. They were both panting and Hidan was missing an arm.

"Is he still there?" IIC asked as she turned to Hidan.

Hidan stared at her in confusion for a second.

"I'm not checking. You do it." He finally replied.

"Well I'm not checking. You're a guy. You do it." IIC said firmly.

"No, bitch! I'm not checking!" Hidan said angrily.

"DO IT HIDAN!" IIC yelled

"MAKE ME, YOU WHORE!"

"JUST DO IT, ASS HOLE!"

"NO! GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

"DIE MOTHER FUCKER!" IIC dove onto Hidan and they started having a battle.

The game 'Lets Fuck Up Kakuzu' was now 'Lets Fuck Up Each Other'.

Superkella rolled her eyes and continued looking for Itachi. Itachi was in the kitchen, telling Zetsu not to eat other people. Superkella knew this was her chance. She stole Hidan's scythe and ran towards Itachi. She swung the scythe around and hoped that she would hit him. She hit something. She looked at Itachi. He was fine, the scythe didn't hit him. She gulped and turned to Kisame. The scythe hadn't hit him. She turned to Zetsu. The scythe hadn't hit him, either. That left one person.

"MY FUCKING ARM!" Princess cried as he looked at the scythe.

Superkella lifted the scythe in the air with Princess still attached.

"OW! OW! STOP IT! PUT ME DOWN!" Princess yelled.

Superkella looked at him evilly.

"Alright, then." She said.

Superkella swung the scythe back and forward violently above her head until Princess went flying off. He smashed into Konan and fell to the floor. Superkella, IIC, Hidan, Un Franais, Minikella and Deidara all laughed and watched Princess get beaten up by Konan and Pein.

Konan and Pein let Princess go and he ran to his room. Everyone looked at Minikella expectantly. Minikella looked at everyone, confused.

"What?" She asked.

"You're his best friend. Go help him." Tobi said.

Minikella looked at everyone. They all nodded. She sighed and went to Princesses room. She knocked on the door. Nobody answered. She turned the doorknob. It was locked.

"Yo! Princess! It's Minikella! Let me in!" Minikella said as she knocked again.

Still no answer. Minikella punched the door as hard as she could. The door broke into little pieces. Minikella walked in as if nothing was wrong.

"Sup." She said as she sat next to Princess.

"Do you like it here?" Princess asked.

"Huh…?" Minikella asked.

"Do you like it here?"

"No… Your room's a shithole."

"Not my room. This group. The French-English-Japanese Combo Of Doom."

"Why?"

"I'm going to leave."

"What's wrong with it here?"

"Because we're younger, we get treated like crap."

"I don't."

"And we always get picked on and laughed at and-" Princess got interrupted.

"Princess, that's only you. I get treated just fine." Minikella said.

"…but…"

"Sorry, man." Minikella got up and headed for the door.

"I'll give you ice cream." Princess said from behind her.

Minikella froze. She turned around.

"I'm SO in!" She yelled.

Minikella and Princess stayed in his room and planned out their new group. Minikella didn't do much, she was only there for ice cream, but she did come up with the name. That is when Team Group was formed.


	4. Fourth Chapter Of Crap

Princess and Minikella were both plotting their new evil group. Superkella was now playing 'Run At Itachi And Yell Swear Words' the sequel to 'Steal The Sharingan' and 'Gimmie That Damn Sharingan'. The game had been going on for 3 weeks. IIC and Hidan were playing 'Kill Kakuzu'. They were not good at the game. Un Franais was playing 'Where Is Nagato' with Konan and they were searching all over the hideout while Pein followed them around and tried to get them to stop.

IIC and Hidan were both sneaking around the hideout, trying to find Kakuzu. They were whispering to each other so Kakuzu wouldn't hear them.

"I think he's in there." IIC whispered.

"No shit." Hidan snapped.

"Hey, fuck you."

"Bitch."

"Dick."

"Whore"

"OW!" Hidan yelped and pulled the knife out of his foot.

"Shame, bitch!" IIC cried.

Hidan looked at the knife for a second. Then he looked at the wound on his foot. Then he looked at IIC. Hidan balled his fist and punched IIC on her left cheek. IIC went flying through the air, hit the wall and fell to the ground.

"Haha! That's what ya' get for messing with ME!" Hidan yelled.

IIC didn't get up and attack Hidan like she usually would have. She stayed on the ground. Hidan heard a small sob as IIC leaned over. Hidan's victorious smile faded away. Hidan wasn't good with helping people. He crouched down next to IIC.

"…uhh… You ok?" He asked awkwardly.

IIC didn't respond. She continued crying and kept her face near the ground.

"…umm… I didn't mean to make you cry or anything…"

IIC still didn't respond. Hidan bent over more and craned his neck so he could see IIC's face.

"…hey, I- " Hidan was cut off by IIC's fist hitting him square in the jaw.

Hidan stumbled backwards and fell down. IIC looked up. She wasn't crying, in fact, she was smiling. She cracked her broken jaw into place and looked at Hidan.

"A ninja must see through deception, Hidan." She said as she stood up.

"BITCH!" Hidan yelled as he threw the knife at IIC.

IIC got stabbed in the gut. She looked down at the blood oozing through her shirt, then back at Hidan. IIC was furious.

"This…" She said through gritted teeth as she pointed to her top "…IS MY FAVOURIATE SHIRT!"

IIC pulled the knife out and dove on top of Hidan. They were both struggling around on the floor when Superkella walked past.

"Superkella! Help me pin him down!" IIC ordered.

"Why?" Superkella asked as she sipped on her milkshake.

"He ruined my favourite top!"  
>Superkella dropped her milkshake and grabbed Hidan's arms. IIC grabbed her legs.<p>

"We need one more person… MINIKELLA!" IIC yelled.

Hidan was still struggling, but he could not break free. Minikella walked out of Princesses room, eating a bowl of ice cream.

"Yo." She said casually, ignoring the fact that Hidan was being pinned to the ground.

"Grab his legs!" Superkella ordered.

"NO! DON'T DO IT, MINIKELLA! DON'T BE A BITCH!" Hidan protested.

Minikella looked at them all.

"…Why the hell should I…?" She asked

"He… He's the one who stole your chocolate!" IIC yelled.

Minikella's eyes filled with rage and she ran over.

"No! I swear! I didn't!" Hidan yelled, but Minikella didn't listen.

Minikella grabbed Hidan's ankles. IIC let go. IIC stood up and looked at the vulnerable Hidan. She laughed a little bit and raised the knife above her head. Hidan yelled in pain.

"…I haven't even stabbed you yet, you pussy." IIC said as she lowered the knife.

"It's not that… My ankles…!" Hidan wheezed.

IIC looked at Minikella. Her eyes were full of rage and her hands were white from squeezing so hard. Hidan's ankles were making a constant crunching noise. IIC looked at Hidan's face.

"Good, you deserve it." She said evilly as organs played and lightning struck.

IIC raised the knife above her head and stabbed Hidan in the chest. Then she raised it above her head again and stabbed him on the shin. She stabbed him again and again and again and again and again and again. Finally, Superkella and Minikella got bored and let Hidan go. Hidan jumped on top of IIC and started beating her up. He grabbed her wrists and pinned her hands to the floor. Un Franais just so happened to be walking past at that moment.

"Please, not in public." Un Franais said as he raised a hand.

He then left. Hidan was on top of IIC in an awkward position and nobody ever thought of it _that _ way until Un Franais said it. Hidan didn't understand what Un Franais had meant, so he stayed on top of her. He was thinking. He had a blank look on his face. They both waited for about 30 seconds when IIC finally gave up on him.

"Get the fuck off me." IIC ordered.

Hidan did what she said.

"What did he mean…?" He asked.

"Figure it out, you dumb fuck." IIC said as she went to her room.

Hidan sat in the hallway and thought. He was going to be there for a while.


	5. Fith Chapter Of Crap

Princess and Minikella had finished planning everything out. Their new Group was ready to be launched. They hadn't told the others about it yet. They grabbed all their papers and made their way down the hallway. They were heading to Un Franais room to request a meeting. Hidan was sitting, cross-legged in the hallway with a blank look on his face. He had been sitting there for 4 days.

"What… did he mean…" He mumbled to himself as he scratched his head.

Minikella paused in front of him. She stared at him for a while.

"IIC! JUST TELL HIDAN!" She yelled.

IIC stormed out of her room and stood in front of Hidan. She stood there for a second before she bent over and whispered something in his ear. She then stood up and walked away. Hidan's jaw dropped. He finally clicked.

"AWWW! EWWWW! FUCKING HELL! NOOOOOOO! NEVER!" Hidan yelled as he pulled at his hair.

Princess and Minikella left Hidan there and continued to Un Franais office. They walked past the kitchen where Itachi was standing emotionlessly. Minikella greeted him with a salute and Princess tried to remain out of sight. They walked up the stairs to the office.

Princess and Minikella stood in front of Un Franais office door. Princess knocked gently. Minikella rolled her eyes.

"C'mon, princess, Nobody's going to hear that." She said

Minikella then pounded on the door with a closed fist. She smiled to herself and they both waited for a few seconds. The door then fell off its hinges, into the office. Un Franais was sitting at a desk, doing paperwork. He looked at his fallen door, then at Minikella.

"I…I can fix that…" She assured.

"Minikella! You don't need to. We're not in this organisation any more." Princess reminded her.

"Oh. Right." Minikella said.

"What do you guys want?" Un Franais asked, returning to his paperwork.

Minikella and Princess both formally placed a slip of paper each on his desk. They were folded in half and both read 'To Un Franais.' One was written in blue crayon, the other was written in pink. Un Franais looked at them. He opened them both up and read them.

"Resignations?" He asked.

They both nodded. Un Franais burst out laughing. Princess and Minikella glared at him.

"Shut up!" Princess yelled.

Un Franais kept laughing. His eyes filled with tears and he fell off of his chair. Minikella glared at him from over the desk.

"Shut up." She ordered scarily.

Un Franais couldn't help but to laugh even harder. Minikella looked at Princess and Princess just nodded. Minikella jumped over the desk and kicked Un Franais in the jaw.

"I said shut up." She said impassively.

Un Franaises laugh quickly turned into cries of pain as he picked his teeth up off of the floor. Minikella went back to Princesses side and Un Franais stood up.

"I thee you're therious about thith." He said.

Minikella giggled and covered her mouth.

"Whath tho funny!" Un Franais asked.

"Your front teeth are missing. You sound like a retard." Minikella replied

"Thit!" Un Franais yelled as he felt in his mouth.

"Get out, you two. Go be idioth thomewhere elth." Un Franais said angrily.

Princess and Minikella both slouched out of the room. They went back to their bed room and sat down.

"See why I hate it here?" Princess asked.

"This place is the pits." Minikella agreed.

They both looked at each other and nodded. Then they both jumped out of their bedroom window and ran.


	6. Sixth Chapter Of Crap

Un Franais had put his front teeth back in and stormed out of his office. He stomped down the hallway and pushed everyone out of his way. Superkella was walking down the hall, drinking a chocolate milkshake.

"Hey, Un Franais." She said.

"MOVE IT, BITCH!" Un Franais yelled as he shoved her aside.

Hidan, who was still sitting in the hallway, saw that and punched the air.

"That's the stuff, psycho!" He yelled after him.

Un Franais thundered over to Princesses room. He wanted to give them an ass kicking. How dare they knock out his teeth! He walked up to Princess door and swung it open. He looked wildly around the room. There was some sheets of paper on the bed and his window was open.

"YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME!" He yelled "I WILL END YOU!"

He stormed around the room, checking everywhere. He finally gave up and decided they weren't in their room. He stomped out of their room and checked in the lounge, and the kitchen, and the bathroom, and attic and the basement and Superkella's room and IIC's room, but he could not find them. He called a meeting. Everyone gathered in the meeting room around Un Franaises, IIC's and Superkella's big golden chairs, Minikella's and Princesses were both empty. Superkella looked a little bit worried as she sipped on her milkshake. She scanned the room. She then turned to Un Franais.

"Where's Minikella?" She asked.

"That's what this meeting's about." Un Franais replied.

Superkella looked worried, then relaxed. She knew Minikella would be just fine. She was like the incredible hulk in a child's body. Superkella relaxed and sipped on her milkshake. Un Franais called the meeting to order.

"Find Princess and Minikella ASAP! They have abandoned us and will tell the enemy where we are! Find them! Dead or alive!" Un Franais said.

IIC tapped him on the shoulder.

"Un Franais, isn't that last part a bit much?" She asked.

"Oh. Yeah. Find them alive. Not dead." He corrected himself.

All the other members piled out of the hideout and went to search for Minikella and Princess.

Meanwhile, out in the forest, Minikella and Princess were aimlessly wandering around, trying to follow Princesses map. Minikella kept on turning the map around and craning her head. Finally, she screwed the map up into a ball and threw it on the floor.

"Screw that." She said as she kept on walking.

Princess picked up his map and ran after Minikella. He opened the map and attempted to read it. He turned the map in every direction, but not even he could figure it out. Minikella continued tramping forward, smashing trees and boulders that were in her way.

"You said this Group would be awesome. You said it would be superior to the French-English-Japanese Combo Of Doom! You promised me that you had planned out everything perfectly. You fucking liar!" Minikella yelled as she punched a mountain.

The mountain didn't shatter, but a large crater formed, centring from where she punched. Princess stared at the crater and gulped. Then, Minikella had an idea. She punched again and again in the same place until a small room had formed. Minikella looked around and smiled. Princess smiled broadly and walked inside. Minikella glared at him and walked to the right of the room. She punched a massive hole in the wall and made a large room.

"This." She said as she pointed at the large room "Is my room."

Princess nodded. Minikella then went to the left of the room and punched a small cavern, barely small enough to stand in.

"And this." She said as she pointed to the tiny, poor excuse for a room "Is your room."

Minikella shoved her way past Princess and went to find some firewood. Princess walked around the new hideout. He walked into his room and groaned, he could barely fit inside and the floor had sharp rocks sticking out from the floor. He then walked over to Minikella's room. The roof towered high up and the floor was amazingly smooth, the room was exceptionally large and the walls were smooth. Princess looked around the room, he frowned, then looked back to his. He walked over to his room and eyed the wall.

"If Minikella can do it, then I should be able to." He mumbled to himself.

He clenched his fist and punched the far wall. Nothing happened. He stood frozen for a second, then held his fist to his chest.

"OOWOWWOOWOWOWOWOO! WHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!" He cried in agony as he fell to the floor.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash outside. Princess stopped crying and yelling and looked up. He heard a familiar voice.

"OI! Princess! Minikella! C'mere!" Superkella yelled.

She then walked into the cave. Princess tried to hide. Superkella looked around in awe.

"Far out… This place is epic!" She said happily.

Minikella then returned with a pile of wood. She saw Superkella and dropped the wood. The sound caused Superkella to turn around. Minikella stomped on the ground and made a hole for her to sink into, she then pushed some dirt above her and held it up. Superkella looked around, but eventually gave up. She walked out of the cave and went to search somewhere else. Minikella dug out of the hole and filled it up again. She walked into the cave and put the wood on the floor. She then pulled out to stones and tried to clack them together, to make a spark. However, she hit them together too hard and they shattered to pieces. She groaned in agitation and stomped on the remainders of the stones. Minikella looked angrily at the sticks.

"FIRE STYLE! FIRE BALL JUTSU!" She yelled as she held her two fingers up to her mouth.

She blew, but nothing happened. Minikella was really angry.

"LIGHT YOU FUCKING THINGS! MAKE FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! WHY ARE YOU FUCKING STICKS SUCH RETARDS!" She yelled in anger.

Princess came out and stood next to her.

"Hey, Minikella… You need to calm down…" He began, but Minikella interrupted her.

"NO I DON'T! I DON'T NEED TO CALM DOWN! YOU CAN SHUT THE FUCK UP!" She yelled in rage.

Kisame happened to be walking nearby and heard Minikella yelling. He headed in the direction of the noise. The forest was so thick, he couldn't see anything, so he jumped up to the treetops. Kisame made it just in time to see the mountain collapse. Kisame ran over and saw Princess cowering in fear and Minikella panting, standing on top of the destroyed mountain. She jumped down and landed in front of Kisame.

"Hey." She said casually "Jeez, I really needed to vent. Let's go back, now."

Minikella walked back to the hideout as if nothing had happened and Kisame and Princess followed, still shocked.


	7. Seventh Chapter Of Crap

Minikella strutted into the French-English-Japanese Combo Of Doom's hideout. She sat in her golden chair and looked around the room. Kisame and Princess came in soon after.

"I found those kids!" Kisame yelled.

Within 3 seconds, Un Franais had sprinted into the room and attacked Princess. He tackled him to the ground and kneeled on top of him. He pinned his arms above his head with one hand and with the other hand, he punched him in the nose repeatedly.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO RUN AWAY! ESPECIALLY NOT WITH OTHER MEMBERS!" He bellowed.

Un Franais turned to Minikella.

"Minikella!" He yelled in delight as he hugged her.

Minikella acted the same as usual and shoved Un Franais away.

"My name isn't Minikella, anymore." She stated.

Un Franais looked at her, confused.

"Well what is your name?" Un Franais asked.

Minikella looked up at him seriously. She had a blank expression.

"As of now, I am Vomvom." She said.

"Vomvom?" Un Franais asked.

"Vomvom." Vomvom replied.

Princess was about to protest that Minikella was a perfectly suitable name, but Hidan and IIC burst through the wall. They were both strangling each other and rolling around on the floor. Everyone watched them struggle on the floor for a while. Kakuzu came in to see what the noise was. When he saw the gaping hole in the wall, he picked up IIC and Hidan with two long black tentacles. He held them apart from each other and began yelling at them about cost and money. While he yelled at them, the rest of the French-English-Combo Of Doom came in. Pein saw the hole in the wall and face palmed. Un Franais called a meeting to order and assembled everyone. The 6 leaders sat in their golden chairs and Princess sat on a wooden chair. Superkella saw Vomvom had returned and nearly choked on her milkshake. IIC had noticed Vomvom before, but was unable to do anything. She smiled and gave her a friendly salute. Un Franais kept on staring at Vomvom with tears of joy in his eyes. Vomvom was hating all the attention and kept on glaring at everyone (Un Franais in particular).

"This meeting is very important!" Un Franais announced "Minikella has returned!"  
>Everyone cheered. Vomvom glared at Un Franais. Un Franais looked down at her and reilised his mistake.<p>

"Oh! Minikella has also changed her name to Vomvom!" Un Franais added.

Everyone looked at Vomvom and thought about her new name.

"Tobi likes the name Vomvom!" Tobi said happily.

"I agree. It doesn't sound like a rip off of Superkella." Itachi said.

Everyone nodded in agreement that Vomvom was a better name than Minikella.


	8. Eighth Chapter Of Crap

It was 6 am on a normal Sunday morning in the French-English-Japanese Combo Of Doom. Everyone was asleep. Un Franaises eyes opened slowly. He yawned and got up. He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. He saw a carton of milk on the top shelf and sleepily grabbed it. He drunk the entire carton and put it on the table. He stretched and scratched his back. Suddenly, he noticed he wasn't alone in the kitchen. Princess was by the cupboard with a backpack and was shoving all the food he could fit into it. Princess looked up and noticed Un Franais. He stopped packing and froze. He blinked a few times before he quickly gathered up his stuff and ran. Un Franais chased after him. Princess sprinted down the hallway and ran into his room. He slammed the door behind him. Un Franais followed closely after and tried to open the door, but he couldn't. He saw light coming out from under the door and he heard Vomvom's voice inside. Un Franais couldn't make out what they were saying. Un Franais decided to lour them out. He leaned close to the door.

"You guys going out?" He asked quietly.

There was silence inside, then the sound of footsteps coming towards the door, then silence again. Un Franais waited. Vomvom's hand suddenly broke through the door and grabbed Un Franaises neck.

"NO!" Vomvom yelled "FUCK YOU! YOU FUCKING BITCH! I'M GONNA RIP YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS! YOU SORRY BASTARD!"

Un Franais choked and gasped.

"Vomvom, stop!" Princess yelled "Un Franais is just being a douche."

Vomvom's hand released Un Franais neck and pulled back into the hole. Un Franais gasped for air.

"Did you get everything?" Vomvom asked.

"Yeah. We should knock him out and go." Princess replied.

Vomvom's closed fist suddenly struck Un Franais skull and he got knocked out.

Vomvom and Princess made another bid for freedom and ran out of the hideout. This time, Vomvom was in charge of almost everything, so things would work. The map was read by Princess with ease and he saw where their hideout was going to be.

"Right by Konoha!" He asked.

"Relax." Vomvom assured "It's a good 7 kilometres away."

"We'll get found by them within the first week!"

"Princess, Princess, Princess." Vomvom said as she shook her head "We are going to live hidden. Hence, a HIDEout."

"But Konoha is full of ninja! Some harness the Byakugan!"

"We are better ninja." Vomvom assured.

Vomvom eyed Princess.

"…Well, I'm a better ninja…" She corrected.

"Hey! What's wrong with my ninja abilities!"

"Lots of things."

"Like what?"

"You harness the ability to create roses. When is that going to help during combat!"

"…Umm… If the person has allergies…"

"We're ninja! We don't have that kind of stuff!"

Princess hung his head in sorrow. He knew he was a bad ninja as well.

Itachi was walking down the hall at 7:30 am on that fine Sunday morn' when he came across Un Franais lying in the hall way. Itachi stared at him for a moment before he gently nudged him with his foot. Un Franais immediately leapt into action. He jumped off of the floor and looked around wildly. He threw Princess door open and searched everywhere. He then turned to Itachi.

"They've run away again." He said.

Itachi showed no interest in the matter and continued to the kitchen.

"PRINCESS AND VOMVOM HAVE RUN AWAY AGAIN!" Un Franais yelled "FIND THEM OR DIE!"

Everyone moaned, but set out once again to find them.


	9. Nineth Chapter Of Crap

Princess and Vomvom both ran as fast as they could. They needed to get away from the others which were hunting them down. They ran through the dense forest and didn't look back. Suddenly, Princesses run became awkward, he crossed his legs slightly and tried to keep running. He fell behind quickly. He stopped crossing his legs and instead, he held his crotch with his hand. Vomvom stared at him. She saw he was holding his crotch and had a look on her face like this o.O.

"…Oh my god…" She exclaimed.

Princess looked at her in confusion.

"What?" He asked.

"…Do you have a boner…?" Vomvom asked as she tried not to throw up.

Princess looked shocked. His hair stood on end and he skidded to a halt.

"OMG! NO!" He cried "I JUST NEED TO PEE!"

Vomvom sighed in relief and clutched her heart.

"Thank god. That would've been weird if you got a hard on because of me."

Princess got shifty eyes. He laughed in worry.

"…yeah… weird…"

Princess then shuffled into the bushes to pee. Once he had finished, he came back out of the bushes to where Vomvom was waiting. Vomvom looked up and smiled.

"Took you long enough." She said in a bubbly tone "Come on, let's go."

Princess and Vomvom both jumped into the trees.

An hour into their three day long journey, Princess tripped on a tree branch and twisted his ankle.

"Princess!" Vomvom yelled angrily "You clumsy idiot!"

Princess smiled even though he was hurt.

"It looks like you'll have to carry me!" He giggled.

Vomvom sighed, but picked Princess up in her arms and jumped back into the tree tops. Vomvom was focusing on the horizon ahead as she jumped from branch to branch. Princess, however, was focusing on Vomvom. He dreamily stared at her face and smiled. After another half hour, Vomvom noticed Princess was staring at her and she looked at him in confusion.

"…uhh… Do you want something?" She asked.

Princess was daydreaming as he stared at Vomvom.

"No... just continue being beautiful." He said dreamily.

Vomvom stared at him, wide eyed. She stopped moving.

"Say what?" Vomvom asked.

"Let's keep going, gorgeous." Princess said.

Vomvom put Princess on the branch she was standing on. Princess was half asleep. He stared at Vomvom and giggled like a little kid.

"You're so cute." He chuckled.

"Are you feeling ok, Princess?" Vomvom asked.

"I feel fine…" Princess replied woozily.

Suddenly, Princess snapped out of his fantasy and grasped reality. He looked up at Vomvom. Vomvom was staring down at him with a weird look on her face. Princess face palmed and began to weep. Vomvom continued staring at him.

"… I thought I was dreaming…" He sobbed.

Vomvom still stared. Princess looked up at Vomvom. He stared at her for a bit before he cried again.

"I had everything planned out!" He moped.

Vomvom sat next to him.

"What the hell are you talking about?" She asked.

Princess looked at her again.

"I'd planned out our whole lives! I knew when I would ask you out so you would say yes! I knew that we would live happily ever after if I gradually grew on you! BUT I RUINED IT!" Princess burst into tears again.

"Wait! Wait! Wait! Rewind! Why did you plan all this out?" Vomvom asked.

"Because I love you, Vomvom! I always have! I love the way you're really violent! I love the way you smile when you're really angry so it looks scary! I love the way you have a comeback for everything! I love the way you have a short temper! I love you're face and your hair and your eyes and your mouth and your clothes!" Princess cried.

Princess slapped his hand over his mouth. Vomvom stared at him. Her eyes slowly widened in realization. Princess stared at her and waited for an answer. Suddenly, Vomvom's fist collided with Princesses face and he fell to the ground. Princess landed flat on his back and Vomvom jumped down after him. She stood on his stomach, pinning him down.

"You're a brilliant punching bag." She observed

Princess smiled.

"So will you go out with me?" He asked hopefully.

"Nah. I don't date my punching bags." Vomvom replied "Plus, you're a stupid, cross dressing, gender challenged idiot."

Vomvom flipped Princess off and laughed. She then punched him very hard all over the body. Princess tried to get away, but Vomvom's punches were so hard, he was paralyzed. Vomvom knocked 7 of Princesses teeth out and she stomped on his gut. Vomvom stood up and jumped on Princess like he was a trampoline. Vomvom had a lot of fun beating the shit out of Princess. Finally, Vomvom got tired and stopped. She laughed at Princess one final time before she walked off. Princess lay on the ground, paralyzed. Forever alone.

**A/N: **I wrote this chapter when I was mad at Princess. I hope Vomvom doesn't mind.

:D


	10. Tenth Chapter Of Crap

Un Franais was searching the forest high and low for Princess and Vomvom. He was checking under every stone and bush, he was determined to get them back.

"VOMVOM! PRINCESS!" He yelled.

He aimlessly wandered through the forest, hoping he would find them. Un Franais then heard some rustling coming from up ahead. Un Franais ran to the source of the noise to see Vomvom collecting sticks. He gasped and tackled her to the ground. He tried to restrain her, but she was very strong. Finally, Un Franais tied her up and duct taped her mouth shut.

"Found you!" He said happily.

He picked Vomvom up over his shoulder and began walking back to the hideout. Once he got close, he untied her and removed the duct tape from her mouth. Vomvom immediately tried to get away. Un Franais grabbed her and carried her inside.

"LET ME GO, PERVERT!" Vomvom cried as she punched Un Franais.

Un Franais tried to act like it didn't hurt. He put Vomvom on the floor under the supervision of IIC, Superkella and Hidan.

"You found her!" Superkella said happily as she smiled at her little sister.

Vomvom poked her tongue out and pulled down her bottom eyelid in reply. Superkella glared at her.

"You need to get some manners. You're rude to anyone who's nice to you." Superkella said.

"Hey, fuck you. I don't want to be here. I was taken by force." Vomvom said coldly.

"Yeah, Superkella! The bitch is just fine. Shut your mouth." Hidan jumped in.

"Hey! Leave my friend alone!" IIC snapped.

Hidan turned to her slowly, smirking.

"And if I don't?" He asked.

IIC attacked Hidan and they both fell to the floor. Superkella and Vomvom both watched enthusiastically.

"GO HIDAN!" Vomvom yelled as she punched the air.

Superkella scoffed.

"IIC will win by a mile." She said bluntly.

"Bitch please, Hidan would bash her brains in any day."

"Whatever."

"Yeah he would."

At that moment, IIC smashed Hidan's head into the stone floor, declaring victory. Hidan stayed on the floor and pretended to die. However, his plan backfired when IIC began cutting him up into what she called 'Hidan Sushi'. Hidan jumped away quickly, but sadly, his left foot was no more. Vomvom laughed and applauded.

"WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON, BITCH!" Hidan asked.

Vomvom shrugged.

"Whoever wins." She said.

Hidan glared at her. He then turned his anger to IIC who was putting her Hidan Sushi onto a plate.

"You're lucky I have held back on you." He said.

IIC raised her eyebrows and stopped loading Hidan's foot onto a plate.

"Held back?" She asked.

Hidan nodded.

"Yes. I have held back. If I wanted, I could go crazy, insane, beast on you, but I'm nice."

IIC paused. She blinked. Then she burst out laughing. Hidan was yelling at IIC, IIC was rolling on the floor laughing (ROFL!) and Superkella was watching while she sipped on her milkshake. While all this was happening, Vomvom tried to sneak away, but she was caught. For security reasons, Vomvom was put in a cage which was held down by a truck and the bars were red hot and 7 cameras were watching her. Vomvom angrily yelled and punched things. Superkella was in charge of watching her. She sipped a milkshake and played on her PSP.

Un Franais set out to find Princess. It didn't take long because Princess was paralyzed and every bone in his body was broken. Princess was thrown into the cage with Vomvom. They both sat there and moped.

"We will still make our group." Princess said "You can't stop us."

Vomvom and Princess both hi-5ed each other. Princess cried in pain and tried not to move anymore.

"Group Team lives within The French-English-Japanese Combo Of Doom!" Vomvom added.

And so, due to inability to escape, Group Team's hideout is in the French-English-Japanese Combo Of Doom's hideout (It's Princess and Vomvom's bedroom).


	11. Eleventh Chapter Of Crap

One fine day in the French-English-Japanese Combo Of Doom, IIC decided to go on a long walk. Princess and Vomvom were both having a very important meeting, but when Un Franais looked in the window, he saw them both playing hungry hungry hippos. IIC left the hideout and walked into the forest. She walked through the trees and lost track of time. Before she knew it, it was night time and an owl had swooped down and attacked her. IIC fought the owl off and it flew away.

"What the hell?" She asked herself as she fixed her hair (T_T)

Just then, a lollypop stick fell in front of her.

"Shit!" She heard a small boy whisper.

IIC recognised that squeaky voice. She slowly looked up. Sitting on a branch above her head crouched a small boy with an owl on his outstretched arm and a Kandy Kane in his mouth. He saw IIC looking at him and gulped. He waved. IIC stared at him. She was angry.

"I thought you died." She said.

"You wish!" The small boy laughed as he rocked back and forwards.

IIC waited for him to elaborate, but he remained silent.

"How did you escape?" She asked "When the house was on fire, I dumped a pillar on you."

The boy stopped laughing and stared at her blankly.

"Yeah, thanks for that. I can tell you love your brother." He said.

The boy then laughed again and used his chakara to sit on the branch upside down. The owl on his arm flew off of his arm and flew in circles around him.

"Weeeee!" He cried as he threw his hands above his head.

IIC jumped up and grabbed his hair. The boy gasped and was pulled to the ground. IIC dragged him back to the hideout. The owl followed. When IIC reached the hideout, she threw him on the ground. Vomvom happened to be in the room and looked up to see what the noise was. Because it was dark, she couldn't see who IIC had bought back with her.

"Who's that?" She asked.

"Kandy Kid." IIC said coldly.

Vomvom's eyes widened. She smiled.

"You mean your brother Kandy Kid!" She asked happily.

IIC nodded. Vomvom ran up to Kandy Kid and hugged him. She then looked at IIC.

"You said he died." She said.

"I thought he did." IIC shrugged "But he somehow got away."

"Duh, I'm a ninja." Kandy Kid said as he crossed his eyes and shrugged his shoulders.

Kandy Kid laughed at his own joke. Princess then came into the room. He observed the scene. He saw his beloved Vomvom hugging another boy. His eye twitched slightly.

"Vomvom… who is this…?" He asked coldly.

"Oh, Princess!" Vomvom said as she got up and ran over to him.

She then lead him over to IIC and Kandy Kid.

"This" She said as she gestured to Kandy Kid "Is IIC's little brother, Kandy Kid."

` Kandy Kid saluted him.

"wassup?" He said.

Princess glared at him. Vomvom paied no attention to Princesses evil stares and continued,

"Me and him have been friends for ages!" She cried.

Kandy Kid nodded and smiled. Princess still stared at him meanly.

Kandy kid reached into his pocket and pulled out a lollypop and handed it to Vomvom. Vomvom read the wrapper and gasped, then laughed.

"I remember these!" She said as she held up the lollypop "We used to eat them all the time!"

Kandy Kid laughed and clapped his hands. Vomvom and Kandy Kid both skipped off together to reminisce about their childhood. Princess stood there. He hated Kandy Kid. And Kandy Kid was too stupid to notice.


	12. Twelth Chapter Of Crap

One fine morning, Superkella's scream of horror made everyone dash into the kitchen. Princess was wearing Pink pijamas with a crown on the front, IIC was wearing a red dressing gown, Un Franais was wearing his custom silk pyjamas, Vomvom was wearing a singlet and some tatty jeans, Kandy Kid was wearing a shirt with a pedo bear on it and some boxers. The Akatsuki were wearing their normal attire. Superkella, however was fully dressed. She was holding an empty tin of milkshake mix. She was pale and shivering.

"NOW HOW WILL THE BOYS COME TO THE YARD!" She said as she fell onto her knees.

Vomvom patted her on the back.

"Hey, It's not the end of the world…" She said.

Superkella swatted her hand away.

"BULLSHIT!" She cried "MILKSHAKES ARE MY LIFE! I NEED THEM!"

Foam was coming out of Superkellas mouth and she was panting. Vomvom backed away. Superkella flipped out.

"ME NEED MILKSHAKE!" She yelled.

She screamed and started pulling her hair out. She rolled on the floor and started whimpering.

"It's a bit much for a milkshake, isn't it?" Princess asked.

IIC and Vomvom both shook their heads.

"Ever since birth, Superkella has had a milkshake with every meal." Vomvom said.

"She's never missed a single day, no matter what." IIC continued.

"She could never quit cold turkey." Vomvom added.

Superkella was running around the room in a panic. Suddnely, she stopped and smiled evilly. She pulled out her sword suddenly, and held it up to Kakuzu's throat.

"Money." She ordered.

Kakuzu had no expression in his eyes. His skin turned black and Kakuzu smirked at Superkella.

"Damn your body solidifying!" Superkella said as she lowered her knife.

She then looked at Un Franais. Un Franais stared back. Superkella glanced up the stairs at Un Franaises room. Without warning, they both raced each other to his room.

"Don't be a jerk, rich boy!" Superkella cried.

Un Franais beat Superkella and quickly locked his door. Superkella paid no notice to this and ran straight into it. She fell to the floor and clutched her arm she rammed it with.

"What the hell is that thing made of!" She demanded.

"Solid iron." Un Franais replied.

Superkella glared at him. Without looking away, she called Vomvom's name. Vomvom trudged up the stairs.

"What?" She asked.

"Smash the door?" Superkella pleaded.

"Why the hell should I? What have you done for me?"

"…WE'RE SISTERS!"

"That doesn't mean I instantly love you."

"…There's money inside."

Hearing this, Vomvom grabbed the to of the door and pulled it down effortlessly. She curled the door up so it looked like a choco-cornet. For good measure, she pushed Un Franais off the railing and to the floor below. Superkella and Vomvom both went inside and took all the money they 'needed'. Vomvom ran to her room with her new load of cash and Princess followed. Superkella shoved the money in her pocket and went out the door. She wandered through the forest, hoping there was a milkshake shop nearby. Obviously, nobody would build a milkshake parlour in the middle of nowhere, so Superkella had to travel all the way to Konoha for her milkshake mix.

Superkella finally reached Konoha and went inside the village. She walked through the streets, looking for a milkshake stand, when a sight so amazing made here freeze. She saw a boy wearing an orange and black jumpsuit and a black headband. He had blond hair and three lines on either side of his face. Superkella stared at him. He was the 9 tail Jinchuuriki. Naruto Uzumaki. Superkella walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned to look at her, confused.

"Yo. What's up?" He asked.

Superkella smiled at him.

"I know you. Your Naruto Uzumaki, right?" She asked sweetly.

"Yup that's me! Dattebayo!" He replied as he smiled widely and closed his eyes.

Superkella smiled.

"Tsunade-Sama ordered you to come with me for a mission." She said.

Being the smart ninja she was, she knew all about Konoha. She turned around and began to walk towards the gate, expecting Naruto to follow. Naruto was confused, but being the cocky ninja he was, he thought he could beat Superkella in a fight with ease need be. Superkella lead Naruto into an alleyway and beat the living daylights out of him. Naruto was knocked out, and he was not going to wake up any time soon. Superkella picked up his body and slumped it over her shoulder. She walked out of the alleyway and headed for the gate. She hen remembered the reason she had come to Konoha in the first place. She carried Naruto's body into a convenience store and pretended it was a medical emergency. She rushed inside and grabbed all the milkshake mix she could. She shoved it all into her bag and ran out the door.

"Hey! You need to pay for that!" The owner yelled as he chased Superkella.

Superkella didn't look back, but flipped him off. She laughed to herself, then quickened her pace away from the Konoha ninja. Superkella balanced Naruto on her shoulder and did some hand sighns.

"Tsubarachi duron jutsu!" She cried.

Suddenly, 7 clones of her appeared and attacked the Konoha ninjas. Superkella easily got away.

Superkella arrived at the hideout and threw Naruto onto the floor. The Akatsuki and group team and the FECOD all gathered around. Pein looked at Superkella approvingly. Un Franais smiled to himself. No one else really cared.

"Come." Pein ordered "We must do the sealing at once!"

All the Akatsuki jumpd onto a finger of the rock and placed their fingers together. The biiju inside of Naruto began to be sucked out and headed towoareds the statue.

"So How long do you guys have to stay there?" IIC asked.

"Three days." Pein replied.

Everyone who wasn't part of the sealing jutsu smiled. They all ran off to loot their rooms.

"I've got Hidan's scythe!" Superkella yelled.

"I've got Kisame's Sammahada!" Kandy Kid yelled.

"I FOUND THE PERMENANT MARKERS!" Vomvom cried.

Finally, everyone returned to the room. Superkella was waving Hidan's scythe wildly, scraping it against the stone walls.

"Fuck you!" Hidan yelled "You'll blunt it!"

Superkella smiled at him and began hacking into the stone with it. She jammd it into the stone and left it abandoned. She then went to Vomvom and collected some vivids. She smiled at all the members. They all looked back at her, worried. Superkella and the others all claimed a member to draw on. Vomvom chose Kisame, Princess chose Itachi, Kandy Kid chose Pein (bold move), IIC chose Hidan, Un Franais chose Zetsu, and Superkella chose Kakuzu. Deidara, Konan and Tobi all whispered 'yesss' and watched the others suffer. Superkella stood on the stone finger next to Kakuzu and smiled. Kakuzu glared at her.

"Don't touch me." He warned.

Superkella pulled out her sword and cut Kakuzu's shirt off. She also pulled his mask down so she had more room to draw. Superkella started drawing. She gave Kakuzu some big eyelashes, a curly moustache and on his arm, she wrote Hidan's name in big curly letters.

"Hey, Superkella! Check out Hidan's back!" IIC yelled.

Superkella jumped over and saw Hidan's whole back was covered in a detailed drawing of Hidan and Kakuzu kissing and it was surrounded in a love heart. Hidan was yelling every swear word he could think of. Vomvom had began colouring all of Kisame black, starting with his hair. She gave him a big black stripe right down the middle and she drew a shark on his forehead. All the Akatsuki members were yelling at the others to stop, but the obviously didn't listen. It took Kandy Kid quite a while to notice Pein was a hologram and could not be drawn on. Superkella returned to Kakuzu. She decided to take after IIC and draw a massive yaoi picture on his back. Kakuzu was yelling at her and threatening her, but Superkella was not listening. Superkella looked over to Itachi. He had big round glasses drawn on him and they were coloured in black, even over his eyelids. He also had the word blind imprinted across his cheeks and nose. Dan was doing grafiti all over Zetsu's venus flytrap. IIC had drawn a big Christian cross on Hidan's chest and wrote 'Jesus is my saviour' on his forehead. Hidan was swearing at her and yelling. Vomvom had finished colouring Kisame's hair and had now moved onto his face, she had given him black lips and most of his face was black. Kandy Kid was just observing everything.

Finally, everyone had had enough colouring for the day and went to bed. The next day, everyone woke up nice and early to finish their masterpieces. Vomvom had bought a tin of black paint to speed up her colour Kisame project. Superkella bought a tube of superglue. She tiptoed up to Kakuzu and slowly squeezed the tube in between his hands. The glue dried quickly. IIC had bought along Dan's electric razor which ran on batteries. Hidan saw her coming and let loose.

"TOUCH MY HAIR, I'LL FUCKIN' KILL YA! YOU BITCH! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO ON MY BACK! I'LL KILL YOU, YOU WHORE! BASTARD! SON OF A BITCH! MOTHER OF FUCKING GOD! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU ASS HOLE!"

IIC didn't listen and shaved all of Hidan's hair clean off. She then drew a smily face on his head.

"I'm finished!" Vomvom yelled in delight.

Everyone looked at Kisame. He was barely visable in the dark room. All you could see were two floating eyes and two rows of pointy white teeth.

To Be Continued…


	13. Thirteenth Chapter Of Crap

All the Akatsuki members were bellowing at the others who were drawing on them. Everyone was having so much fun drawing on the Akatsuki, nobody kept track of the time. Suddenly, the red bubbles stopped coming out of Naruto.

"The Jutsu is complete!" Pein declared.

Everyone stopped drawing. The turned to their members, fake smiles plastered across their faces. Vomvom was the first to run. Everyone else followed quickly. Vomvom and Princess both ran into their 'hideout' and locked the door behind them. IIC, Superkella and Dan continued running down the hall while Kisame and Itachi tried to beat down the door. Superkella and IIC bolth ran into their room and locked the door while Hidan and Kakuzu beat the door down. Suddenly, realisation struck IIC. She stopped panicking and came out of her hiding place.

"Superkella, get your sword ready." She said.

Superkella kept on hiding.

"But they'll kill us." She replied

"We're immortal." IIC said.

Superkella had forgotten about that. She too stood up and prepared to face their foes. Hidan and Kakuzu finally beat the door down. They both stood in the doorway, trying to look scary. They were still covered in drawings and Hidan had no hair, so the scary approach didn't work. They both lunged at IIC and Superkella. Hidan's scythe was still embedded in the wall, so he was weaponless. Superkella, however had her sword. She wildly swung it at Hidan, hoping to chop off a few limbs. She did manage to decapitate Hidan, but Kakuzu sewed him back up. The epic battle raged on for minutes on end, but lazyness got the best of all of them. They called a truce and stopped fighting. They went into the main room to see everyone else, sitting on the couch, watching the terminator.

"Aren't you guys fighting?" Superkella asked.

"Too lazy." They all responded.

Superkella's eye twitched slightly in anger.

"I'm going to make a milkshake." She mumbled as she slumped into the kitchen.


	14. Fourteenth Chapter Of Crap

One fine morning in the French-English-Combo Of Doom's hideout, everyone was eating breakfast. Kandy Kid was eating a packet of skittles, Princess was eating fruit loops, Superkella was drinking a milkshake, IIC was eating Nutra Grain, Un Franais was eating caviar, and Vomvom was eating nutella on burnt toast. The Akatsuki were all eating porridge. Everyone was sitting in the main room, watching T.V. Superkella was the first to finish. She threw her glass at the wall and watched it shatter, before she got up and left. Kandy Kid finished close after. He dropped his packet and left the room. Vomvom finished next, she looked at her hands, they were covered in nutella. She went behind Kisame and wiped it off on his hair. Kisame turned around, then felt the top of his head. He roared at Vomvom and began chasing her, Vomvom was laughing the whole time. Princess finished next, he put his empty bowl on Hidan's bald head. Hidan stared at him in rage. Princess gapped it. Hidan was too lazy to chase him. Un Franais finished next, He threw the remains of the caviar at the wall, then left. IIC didn't finish her Nutra Grain, but she poured it on Hidan's head. Hidan immediately got up and chased her around the hideout. Kisame caught Vomvom and they both laughed, they had fun. Hidan caught IIC and cut her head off as he screamed swear words into her ear, they did not have fun.

Kandy Kid sat alone in his room with his owl, Marshmallow. He looked at Marshmallow and fed him some chocolate buttons. He then opened up his suitcase. It was completely full of lollies, nothing else. He smiled to himself and began unpacking them all. Half way through unpacking, he decided to treat himself. He pulled out a chocolate bar and bit into it. His eyes watered and he yelled out in agony. He spat the chocolate out onto the floor and clutched his cheek.

"OWWWW! OWWWWWWWW! OOOOOOOWWWW! AHHHHHH!" He cried.

Everyone came into the room to see what was wrong.

"MY TOOOOOTHHHHH!" Kandy Kid cried as tears streamed out of his eyes.

"Nobody panic!" Princess announced "Dan is a medic!"

Everyone looked around confused.

"Who's Dan?" They all asked.

Everyone then looked at Un Franais. He was sweating and rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

"You mean your real name is _Dan!_" IIC asked as she tried not to laugh.

Dan nodded. Everyone laughed.

"WHAT ABOUT MY TOOTH!" Kandy Kid demanded.

Dan walked over to him and held out his arm. Kandy Kid stared at it. He then looked up at Dan.

"What?" Kandy Kid asked.

"Bit me." Dan said.

"Hey, that's rude! I was only trying to figure out what to-" Kandy Kid began.

"No, you dumbass! Bite his arm and he'll heal you!" Vomvom interrupted.

"ooooohhhh…." Kandy Kid said.

Kandy Kid bit Dan's arm. He stopped and looked at Dan.

"Now what? My tooth still hurts." He said.

Vomvom face palmed.

"You bite his arm so he bleeds, then drink his blood." Vomvom said.

Kandy Kid nodded and bit Dan's arm again. Dan winced slightly. Kandy Kid stopped and looked at everyone else. He then looked at Dan. He then felt his tooth. He bit into a lolly.

"I'M BETTER!" He announced.

Dan glared at him. Dan licked some of the blood coming out of the wound he made and healed himself. The bitemark from Kandy Kid scarred him and was there for life, now. Dan glared at him. As they were Leaving, Vomvom tackled Dan and bit his forehead. Dan tried to get her off, but it was too late, she drank some of his blood. She then got some of his blood on her forefinger and shoved her finger in Dan's mouth. Dan bit Vomvom's finger, but she was drinking his blood at the same time. Dan's wound healed and left a scar on his forehead. Vomvom laughed and ran off. Leaving Dan to beg to borrow makeup off of one of the girls or Princess.


	15. Fifteenth Chapter Of Crap

Dan was on his knees.

"Just a little bit of makeup…" He begged IIC, Superkella, Konan and Princess.

Superkella and IIC both laughed.

"Makeup! Like we'd wear that shit!" They both said in unison.

Dan looked at them both and couldn't help but to be reminded of Hikaru and Kaoru. IIC and Superkella both walked off. He was left with Konan and Princess.

"Please!" He pleaded.

Princess put his hand on his hip and stuck his hip out, making him look very feminine.

"Hell no! My stuff is designer! It's waay to expensive to waste on you!" Princess said.

Princess walked off. Konan was the only one left.

"…Konan…?" Dan asked hopefully.

Konan shook her head and walked off. Dan was left there. Kisame walked past with Vomvom on his shoulders. Vomvom had her hands in the air and was leaving big scratch marks in the roof. Dan frowned. He went into the kitchen to get a drink. In the kitchen, Superkella and IIC were both muttering to each other and laughing while the rifled through the fridge.

"What are you two doing?" Dan asked.

IIC and Superkella both turned around.

"Oh, hi there _Dan!_" Superkella said.

Dan glared at her. He hated being called Dan. IIC laughed at Dan's face. Dan swept his Justin Bieber hair cut out of his eyes and looked at them both blankly.

"…Could I get to the fridge?" He asked.

Superkella and IIC both moved out of the way for Dan and he got a drink. While he was drinking, Superkella whispered something in IIC's ear. IIC laughed and looked at Dan. They both then ran off. Dan rolled his eyes and continued drinking. He then went upstairs to his room. He got there just in time to see IIC and Superkella run off. Dan gasped and opened his door quickly. His jaw dropped at the scene he found. Everything was frozen into a block of ice. _Everything._ Dan screamed in anger. He ran in the direction IIC and Superkella had run off in. He rounded a corner and was faced with a big wall of ice. He could see Superkella and IIC were on the other side. Dancing.

"Hey, Vomvom!" He called.

Vomvom came to him, accompanied by Kisame. Dan towered above her, so he got on one knee to reach her level.

"Do you wanna smash something?" He asked.

Vomvom nodded excitedly. Dan gestured to the wall of ice. Vomvom smiled and Dan noticed that IIC and Superkella stopped dancing. IIC quickly began making more ice. Vomvom clenched her fist and punched the wall. Vomvom smiled and stared at it. Nothing happened. IIC stopped making ice and they both did a victory dance. Suddenly, the wall began shaking and exploded into thousands of tiny ice shards. Superkella and IIC stopped dancing and stared in awe. Vomvom bowed and walked off with Kisame.

Dan grabbed IIC and Superkella by the scruffs of the neck. He held them up in the air.

"RAPE! RAPE! RAPIST!" Superkella yelled.

Dan looked at her, puzzled. Suddenly, Vomvom came running back and gave Dan an uppercut. Dan let IIC and Superkella go and fell to the ground.

"NO!" Vomvom ordered Dan like a dog "DON'T RAPE PEOPLE!"

Vomvom then walked off again. That girl was just a machine of violence. Dan groaned in pain. Superkella and IIC both skipped off to wreak havoc someplace else. Kandy Kid then ran past with a big bag of lollies, he was skipping around, scattering them on the floor. Princess followed him and he had a knife badly concealed behind his back. Suddenly, Dan reilised something.

"What the fuck happened to my normal life!" He asked himself.


	16. Sixteenth Chapter Of Crap

Superkella was walking through the hideout, sipping on a milkshake. She was bored. Itachi just so happened to be walking past. Being bored, she changed directions and followed Itachi. It didn't take long for Itachi to see her.

"Do you want something?" He asked in his boring voice.

Superkella paused.

"Uhmm… Do you wanna hang out…?" She asked.

Itachi stopped walking and stared at her. He raised his eyebrow slightly.

"…Hang…Out…?" He asked in confusion.

Superkella nodded.

"Yeah. Hang out. You know, uhmm…" Superkella tried to think of a way to explain "…When you both do stuff together…"

Itachi thought about this. He looked down at Superkella and nodded slowly.

"Yes, Superkella. I will 'hang out' with you." He said seriously.

Superkella smiled.

"Can we hang out in your room?" She asked.

Itachi nodded and lead Superkella down the hallway. He opened the door to him and Kisame's room. On Kisame's bed, he and Vomvom were both playing some ridiculous card game Vomvom probabally made up. The game involved a lot of punching. Vomvom and Kisame both looked up at the Uchiha. Kisame smiled and showed all his pointy white teeth and Vomvom nodded. Itachi waved half heartedly. He showed Superkella inside and they both sat on Itachi's bed. Vomvom and Kisame both returned to their card game. Itachi and Superkella both watched them play for a while. Vomvom kept on altering the rules whenever Kisame started winning, but Kisame didn't care. He just smiled and agreed with her. Itachi then turned to face Superkella.

"What sort of stuff does one do in order to achieve 'hanging out'?" He asked.

Superkella shrugged.

"Whatever you feel like doing." She replied.

Itachi thought.

"What do you feel like doing, Superkella?" He asked.

Superkella smiled. She thought about the best thing to do with someone who possessed the legendary Sharingan.

"Do you want to spar?" She asked excitedly.

Itachi's lips formed a miniscule smile. He nodded slowly. Vomvom over heard this and put her cards on the bed.

"Kisame, can we spar too?" She asked.

Kisame nodded and smiled at her. He picked her up and followed Itachi and Superkella outside. Vomvom was punching the walls as they went. In their secret training field, Tobi was chasing a butterfly and so was Kandy Kid. They were both perfect friends. They were both jackasses who will never get any smarter than the average 7 year old. Just to the left of the training field, Hidan and IIC were both having another battle. To the right of the training field, Leader, Konan and Dan were all discussing world domination. Zetsu and Deidara didn't really want any of those idiots to be their best buddies. Deidara didn't like company when he was indulging in his art and Zetsu had himself to talk to, so everyone was happy.

Itachi and Kisame both partnered up to spar against Superkella and Vomvom. They both started fighting and were having quite a lot of fun. IIC then joined Vomvom and Superkella and so Hidan joined Itachi and Kisame. Kandy Kid convinced Tobi to join in and so he and Tobi joined the teams too. Dan shrugged. He needed a work out anyway, he joined his friends and Pein and Konan joined in too. Deidara had just made a new type of detonating clay and wanted to test it out, so he joined too and Princess and Zetsu didn't want to be the only ones not involved, so they joined as well.

Everyone sparing together wasn't the nice happy scene you thought it was. Itachi had his sharingan activated and was putting people under Genjutsu, Hidan was wildly swinging his scythe, Kisame was trying to bash Kandy Kid over the head with his Sammahada, Tobi kept on sinking into the floor and making animal noises, Konan turned into a tonne of paper and was cutting everyone in sight, Pein kept on using almighty push, Deidara was lobbing bits of clay all over the palce and Zetsu was trying to eat Dan. The Akatsuki were all having fun, but The French-English-Combo Of Doom wasn't. Princess was screaming like a girl and biting Deidara on the arm. IIC was dodging as many attacks as she could, but Hidan did manage to cut off her arm. Superkella was in a Genjutsu thanks to Itachi and was passed out on the floor. She was smiling so it can't have been a torture Genjutsu. Kandy Kid was trying to use IIC as a meat shield, but she was constantly pushing him away. Vomvom, however was laughing hysterically and jumping on peoples heads. She grabbed Kisame's Sammahada and refused to let go, even though she was being slammed into the ground. Sadly, this is the most bonding they have all had together.


	17. Seventeenth Chapter Of Crap

Superkella woke up and stretched. The sun shone through the open window and onto her face. She yawned and got out of her bed. She looked across the room to see IIC was still asleep, snoring quietly. She smiled slightly and headed into the kitchen. As she was walking down the hallway, one of the many doors suddenly opened in front of her and Dan stepped out. Superkella stopped walking and waited for him to move. He didn't even notice her, he had his back to her and was wearing a black singlet and boxer shorts. Superkella then noticed she had forgotten to get changed. She looked down at her attire to see she was wearing a small blue singlet which ended at her belly button and some very short shorts. Her face turned red and she tried to make a hasty getaway before Dan saw her, but it was too late. He turned around sleepily.

"Morning…" He yawned as he rubbed his eyes.

Dan stopped and saw Superkella standing there half naked. Dan's eyes widened and he felt warmth in his nose.

"…uhmm…" He stuttered.

Dan quickly clamped his hands over his nose to cover up his nosebleed. He turned away from Superkella and waved a hand in her direction.

"You should get changed…" He said.

Superkella ran off back to her room to change into something suitable. She changed into her normal clothes and went back into the kitchen.

In the kitchen, Dan was sitting on one of the stools, clutching his head. He looked up and saw Superkella. They both smiled at each other and turned pink. They both looked away. Things had been very awkward between them lately. Superkella went over to the fridge and pulled out some bread. She saw there was mould all over it and threw it in the bin. Hidan then walked in the room wearing nothing but some boxer shorts.

"Sup, bitches." He greeted as he shoved Superkella out of the way.

Dan glared at Hidan, but didn't say anything. Hidan pulled out a carton of milk and drunk it straight, letting it drip out of his mouth and down his chest. Once he had finished, he peered in the carton. He spashed the remaining milk on Superkella and laughed. Superkella shot him a dirty look. Dan slammed his hands against the bench and stood up. He glared at Hidan and thundered over to him. Dan, being quite tall, towered over Hidan. Hidan wasn't scared, being immortal. Dan formed several hand signs and closed his eyes. Once he opened them, they were a deep shade of orange. Hidan looked at him in awe and Superkella smiled in amusement. Dan stared at Hidan. Hidan stared back. For a moment nothing happened. Suddenly, Hidan crumpled up in agony and fell to the floor. Usually, Hidan would like pain, but this was the worst agony he had ever felt. He cried in pain and curled up into a ball. Dan released the jutsu, but Hidan remained on the floor. IIC walked in the room next. She saw Hidan lying on the floor in pain and gasped. She crouched by his side and pattd him comfortingly. She shot daggers at Superkella and Dan.

"Who hurt Hidan!" She demanded "Nobody can hurt my Hidan! Only I can!"

IIC was enraged someone had injured her personal punching bag. She raised her hands and two jets of ice shot out. She trid to freeze everyone, but they dodged. Vomvom walked into the room next. She was half asleep and barely aware of her surroundings. IIC's crazy ice blast managd to hit Vomvom's ankles, freezing them together. Vomvom tried to take a step forwards, but was tripped over.

"MOTHER FUCKER!" She yelled "THAT FUCKING HURT!"

Princess heard his beloved Vomvom swearing in anger and rushed to her aid. He ran to her side and saw she was frozen. He quickly began to use a melting jutsu.

IIC had stopped trying to freeze everyone and she helped Hidan up. Dan and Superkella both panted in exhaustion. Princess had finally unfrozen Vomvom. He waited for some words of thanks, but Vomvom can be a bitch sometimes, so she completely ignored him. Dan and Superkella both held each others hand while they gasped for air. Hidan and IIC were both bellowing death threats at each other which is their own way of being nice and showing affection to each other. Dan and Superkella both hugged and went outside. Hidan and IIC both challenged each other to a battle and went outside to settle their fued. Vomvom violently went back to her room. Princess followed.

Outside, Superkella lay down on the grass and Dan lay next to her. Superkella saw him and smiled. She playfully shoved him. He shoved her back. She punched him with all her strength. He cringed in pain, but laughed.

"Hey, Superkella, I- " Dan began, but was cut off by Hidan and IIC.

"TAKE THAT BITCH!"

"FUCK ME! MY FUCKIGN ARM!"

"OW! SHIT! MY HEART!"

"FUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK THAT HURTS!'

"BITCH!"

"DICK!"

Their yelling quietened again. Dan continued.

"Superkella, I was thinking…" Dan bgan, but was cut off once again.

Princess suddenly smashed through Vomvom's window and went flying down to the grass below. Vomvom leaned out the window.

"YOU FUCKING PEDOPHILE!' She yelled.

Dan sighed in frustration.

"Superkella, I was thinking… would you like to… uhmm…" He trailed off and thought about what words to use.

"Would I like to what? Fly? Go to Disney land? What?" Superkella asked in irritation.

"Would you like to go… on a date… with me…?"

"a date?"

"A date."

"A date date?"

"A legit date date."

Superkella thought about this.

"Lemmie think. I'll answer tomorrow." She said.

Dan nodded. He had a wide smile on his face.

**A/N: Written by my shitty cousin. I hate this chapter.**


	18. Eighteenth Chapter Of Crap

The next day, Superkella went to answer Dan's question. She ran up to him and hugged him.

"Of course I will date you, you sexy, sexy man!" She yelled.

Dan smiled to himself sexily. IIC and Vomvom and Konan then flung themselves onto him.

"We love you too, Dan! You are so amazing and hot!" They all cried.

Dan laughed sexily. He brushed his sexy hair out of his sexy eyes sexily. He smiled at them all showing off his sexy white teeth.

"Girls, girls." He said sexily as he raised his arms sexily "I am taken."

Everyone except for Superkella burst into tears. They all walked off in depression. He then looked over to Superkella sexily. She had a white bridal dress on and had a veil over her face. Dan then saw he was in a sexy tux and they were getting married. All the French-English-Combo Of Doom were sitting in chairs wearing fancy clothes. Dan then looked and saw that the preist was Vomvom.

"Vomvom says your married!" She announced.

Dan screamed in horror sexily. Then, he woke up. He was sweating and panting. Luckily, all of the previous chapter had just been a crazy dream.

Dan smiled and was glad none of the crazy crap he had dreampt really happened. He walked into the kitchen and saw empty bottles of Sake on the floor. LOTS of empty bottles of Sake. He then heard laughing coming from the other room. He looked in to see Vomvom, Princess, Kandy Kid, IIC, Hidan and Superkella all sitting in the room drinking. They were all really wasted, so they were doing random shit.

"Hey…" Vomvom said woozily to Princess "Didya know… Princess,… You… Are, like… My best buddy…"

Vomvom took another sip of Sake and giggled childishly.

"Hidaaaaaaaaannnnn…." IIC slurred as she put an arm around Hidans shoulder "Why are we fighting, Hidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnn?"

Hidan hiced and shrugged his shoulder.

"I dunnooo…" He replied "l-lets be besssssttt friiedns."

They both then burst into tears and hugged each other. Kandy Kid passed out face first on the table.

"Hey look, everyone! It's giraffe man Dan!" Superkella yelled as she swayed back and forth "C'mon daan. Join the partay!"

Superkella patted the spare spot next to her. Dan joined his drunk friends. Princess suddenly stood up.

"Vvvvvvv… Vooommmmvoommmmmm…" He said "I am like… like a… a umm… a cactus and you… you are like water…"

Princess then sat down and acted like he had just made a very serious point. Hidan and IIC stopped hugging each other.

"Hey! Lets play truth or d-dare!" Hidan announced.

Everyone nodded. Dan was watching the scene unfold and it was most amusing.

"Hey Kandy…" Vomvom said as she shook Kandy Kid "Kandy! KANDY! _KANDY! __**KANDY!**__** KAAANNNNNNNDYYYYYYYYYY!**_"""" 

Kandy Kid remained unconscious. Vomvom pulled the fingers at him.

"Ok… I pick Truth!" Hidan said.

Everyone else picked truth as well. Dan had to go first. Superkella took another sip of Sake.

"Do yooooouuu… ever kill people?" She asked.

Dan nodded and spoke to them like little kids.

"Yeah, I have killed people before." He said.

Vomvom hiced and laughed again.

"Have you…e-ever… kissed princess…?" Vomvom asked.

Dan knew they were all drunk and wouldn't remember any of this, so he answered truthfully.

"Once when he was a baby."

Everyone laughed and made kissing sounds. Dan rolled his eyes.

IIC asked the next question.

"Are you *hic* a… a priest?" She asked.

Dan looked at her in confusion.

"…no…" He replied.

Princess went next.

"Do you know any priests?" He pressed.

"No." Dan replied.

"Can you become a priest?" Hidan asked.

"No! Why the hell do you guys want a priest!" He asked.

"Because I want to marry a toilet!" Superkella announced proudly.

Dan stared at her, but everyone else clapped. Dan smiled and pulled out a video camera.

The next morning, IIC woke up, half lying off the couch. She groaned in pain and fell backwards, making her groan in more pain. She slowly got up and saw Hidan was lying on the couch too. He was sprawled out and talking up all the room. He only had some green boxer shorts on that were quite loose. IIC had an evil idea. She walked over to Hidan and pulled up the front of his shorts, she made sure to look away, but positioned her free hand so it was aiming at his manly bits. She let loose a stream of ice into his shorts. Hidan leapt 10 feet in the air.

"FUCKING COLD!" He screamed.

Hidan and IIC both winced from his yelling. Hidan Pulled open his boxers and then shot IIC the most angry look ever seen on a human being. They both whisper-shouted at each other. Superkella was the next person to wake up. She was lying on a glass table and promptly smashed straight through it. She moaned, but didn't move. Vomvom woke up close after. She screamed in horror/anger/disgust. She was in the same bed as Princess and was reading a contract on the bed. Everyone moaned in pain at the screaming. Princess woke up right after Vomvom screamed. He screamed in horror, but there appeared to be an ounce of happiness after Vomvom showed him the paper. Princess winced at the yelling, but Vomvom was unaffected. She stared at him in confusion.

"Aren't you hungover?" Princess asked quietly.

Vomvom then reilised, she definitely got drunk and she couldn't remember anything, but she didn't feel sick at all. She smiled evily.

"NO!" She bellowed.

That made Princess run off into the main room with the others. Vomvom read the paper again, hoping it wasn't true. She broke into a cold sweat as she read the paper over and over again.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She yelled dramatically.

She ran into the room where all the others were and punched Princes sin the head. He fell to the floor and moaned in pain.

"HOW DARE YOU MARRY ME WHEN I'M DRUNK!" She bellowed.

Hidan was waddling slowly after IIC. Everyone stopped what they were doing. They all stared at Vomvom and Princess.

"I WANT A DIVORCE!" She ordered.

Princess gulped. He looked up at Vomvom who looked very scary.

"I…I don't…" He replied nervously "…and we both have to agree to get a divorce…"

Vomvom looked at Princess very angrily. Abruptly, her face turned blank, then overjoyed. She was smiling widely and looked down at Princess. She squatted down to his level.

"What will it take for you to agree to get a divorce?" She asked pleasantly.

Princess smiled.

"I want…" Princess trailed off when Dan walked in, holding a video camera.

He plugged it into the TV and everyone sat down. The filming was aweful, but you could see what was going on.

The video started from Superkella's turn at truth or dare.

"I wanna dare!" She announced woozily.

"I dare you to give me your sword forever!" Vomvom yelled.

Superkella drunkenly nodded and handed her sword over to Vomvom.

Superkella gasped when she saw this on film.

"I dare YOOOU to… to give me your money!" Princess declared.

Superkella handed Princess her wallet.

Superkella gaped when she saw this and looked on the brink of tears.

The clip then fuzzed out. When it came back, everyone was in a church and Vomvom and Princess were standing at an alter. There was a priest standing there who looked like he cost 5 bucks an hour.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife." He announced lazily "Kiss each other if you want…"

Vomvom covered her eyes for the next part of the video.

The tape went fuzzy, and when it came back, they were in a tattoo parlor and Kandy Kid was awake.

" I want this one!" He declared as he pointed to a red tattoo of a dragon "I want it all *hic* all up my arm!"

The man started up his tattoo pointer.

The tape then went fuzzy again and when it came back, they were all in a strip club and IIC was pole dancing on stage. Hidan was standing closest to the stage, clapping his hands and whistling. Kandy Kid was standing by the camera, a big red dragon was tattooed up his arm.

IIC paused the video.

"Where's Kandy?" She asked.

Dan smirked.

"Play the rest of the video and find out." He replied.

IIC played the video.

The clip went fuzzy and when it came back, everyone was on the roof. The dumped Kandy Kid there and giggled. Everyone then jumped down and left him there. The clip then stopped.

Everyone sat there, motionless. Kandy Kid broke the silence by falling off of the roof and past the window. Kandy kid rushed inside and Dan showed him the clip. Kandy Kid was ashamed that he let himself get abandoned. IIC and Hidan were ashamed about the strip club. Vomvom was ashamed she married Princess. Superkella was ashamed she had given away her things.

"Lets never speak of this again." Superkella said.

Everyone agreed. Princess, however didn't care.

"We're still married, Vomvom. The law states it." He said giddishly.

Vomvom glared at him.

"Well, this organisation that we have made BREAKS the law all the time. That is what I do best. So we are NOT married." She shot back.

"You keep telling yourself that." Princess said.

IIC and Hidan returned to killing each other and Superkella went to get her sword back. Kandy Kid chewed on some gum and read Vomvom and Princesses wedding certificate and tried to scratch his tattoo off.


	19. Nineteenth Chapter Of Crap

B Kandy Kid woke up one fine morning in the hideout to sadly discover he still had a big red dragon tattoo on his arm. He sighed. He got up and scratched his back. Then he looked out the window. Outside, he could plainly see a boy about his age hiding behind a tree. He rolled his eyes.

"VOMVOM! SOME RANDOM GUY'S OUTSIDE!" He yelled.

There was a long pause before Vomvom replied.

"Vomvom tired. Someone else get him."

"I'll get him!" Superkella chimed in.

Superkella went smashing through her window and ran towards the boy. She whipped out her sword and aimed for his throat. The boy behind the tree gasped and froze. Suddenly, Superkella recognised him. He had a baggy white shirt and baggy jeans, he had a big gold chain around his neck and a gamgster hat with a metal headband plate on it on his head. She skidded to a halt, the sword narrowly missed his neck.

"Hey, I know you." She said "You're one of Vomvom's friends, right?"

The boy stared at her.

"What was your name again? Scott? No. Scotch! Butterscotch!" Superkella snapped her fingers when she remembered.

Butterscotch stared at her in awe.

"…you almost killed me…" He said in shock.

Superkella shrugged.

"Yeah, so what. You didn't die, so no harm done." She said.

"…I almost died…"

"Yeah yeah, near death experience, big whoop." Superkella grabbed Butterscotch by the arm and took him into the hideout.

"VOMVOM! YOUR STUPID MATE'S HERE!" Superkella yelled.

Vomvom slowly came into the room. She saw Butterscotch and gave him a friendly salute. She was already used to long lost friends randomly appearing. Vomvom continued as if nothing had happened. She went to the fridge and got a drink. Superkella thumped Butterscotch on the back and went off to hang out with Itachi.

Butterscotch limped over to Vomvom.

"Hey, why are you limping?" She asked.

Butterscotch stared at her seriously and put on his tinted glasses.

"That's not a limp, that's just my swag." He said.

Vomvom sighed. Butterscotch had always been a try hard. Dan then walked into the kitchen. When he saw Butterscotch, he pulled out a kunai knife and held it in front of him.

"Who are you!" He demanded.

"Take a chill pill, my brotha. I'm just part of Vomvom's possie, dawg." He said as he made a weird sign with his fingers.

Dan stared at him, then at Vomvom. Vomvom shrugged her shoulders.

"He's my mate." She translated.

Dan lowered his Kunai and stood up. Butterscotch lowered his glasses to get a better look at him.  
>"Far out, man. You're a giant." He said.<p>

Dan frowned. Butterscotch pushed his glasses back up and limped around the room.

"Why is he limping?" Dan asked Vomvom.

Vomvom watched him blankly.

"It's not a limp, it's his 'swag'." She replied.

Dan rolled his eyes.

"Poser." He said as he walked off.

Butterscotch flipped him off. Vomvom face palmed. She knew nobody liked Butterscotch.

"Yo, howzabout ya gimmie a tour of your crib, gee." Butterscotch asked.

Vomvom rolled her eyes and showed Butterscotch around. Butterscotch pointed out flaws in every room.

"Yo, dis room is da pits!" He said as she showed him her room.

Vomvom frowned. The walls were full of cracks and holes. Blood and food was smudged on them as well. Her bed was a mess and the floor was covered in old dishes and dirty clothes.

"Vomvom likes her room." She said defensively.

Butterscotch stepped inside.

"Look at this place!" He said "There's shit everywhere!"

Vomvom began to feel angry. She balled her fists.

"Look here!" He said as he picked up Vomvom's teddy bear "What the fuck happened to this thing!"

Vomvom liked her teddy without a head. She gritted her teeth.

"Are you serious?" He asked "You wrote your name in blood?"

Vomvom thought it was a unique portrayal of art. She tapped her foot.

"Oh my god!" He said as he picked up her pillow "How many teeth are under here! You don't still believe in the tooth fairy, do you?"

Vomvom knew the tooth fairy didn't exist, but she needed some extra cash and those teeth were from 11 different people, she thought she deserved some sort of reward for it. She crossed her arms, but kept her fists clenched.

"Is this a dead dog?" He asked as he peered behind her bed.

It was Vomvom's _pet._ And he wasn't dead, he was just sleeping… for 3 months. Vomvom had had enough of Butterscotch and his try hardness. She jumped on top of him and did what Vomvom does best, she beat the shit out of him and threw him out the window. Butterscotch landed on top of Deidara who was watching stuff blow up. Deidara fell down and landed on his face. He got up and swatted the dirt and grass off his face and tried to keep the little dignity he had left.

"What the hell is your problem, un?" He asked angrily.

Butterscotch began to panic.

"P-problem… Theres no problem, my man. I'm just chillin'" He said.

"You're 'just chillin', un?" Deidara asked.

Butterscotch nodded.

"See, me and Vomvom- "

"Oh, Vomvom was involved. Now I get it, un." Deidara said.

Deidara looked up to where Vomvom was leaning out the window.

"VOMVOM, YOU BITCH, UN! YOU'RE PISSING ME THE FUCK OFF!" Deidara yelled.

Vomvom laughed.

"Fuck you!" She said happily "Oh, Deidara, can you teach my friend here about art?"

Deidara's face lit up.

"Can I do the Flying Beauty?" He asked excitedly.

Vomvom nodded.  
>"What's the flying beauty?" Butterscotch asked.<p>

Deidara suddenly smeared a blob of clay on his back. Butterscotch immediately began to freak out and tried to get it off.

"KATSU!" Deidara cried.

Butterscotch went flying high into the air.

"Art is a bang." Deidara said happily.

"I like your art." Vomvom agreed as Butterscotch went flying over the far mountain terrain.


	20. Twentieth Chapter Of Crap

Everyone in the French-English-Combo Of Doom was hot (and no, I don't mean hot as in sexy, only Dan fitted that part). The sun was shining high in the sky and a massive heat wave had hit their hideout. The Akatsuki members looked like they might collapse from heat stroke at any second. Their black capes didn't exactly help the matter. Vomvom was wearing an old singlet and some denim shorts, IIC was wearing some board shorts and a bikini top, she had made a dome of ice around her to keep herself cool. Superkella was wearing a singlet and some short shorts. Princess was wearing no shirt and his summery skirt. Kandy Kid was wearing some black shorts, Dan was wearing no top (to show off his 6 pack) and some awesome looking shorts which made him look really cool. Dan called a meeting to order. The 5 leaders all sat on their golden chairs while Princess had to sit on a wooden one.

"As you know, a heatwave has struck." Dan announced "So I purpose we go to the beach!"

Superkella, IIC, Vomvom and Kandy Kid really liked that idea.

"Yeah!" They all cried happily.

Princess stared down at his shoes.

"Princess, why don't you wanna go?" Dan asked.

Princess mumbled something.

"What?" Dan asked.

"Im on…." Princess mumbled again.

Dan hit Princess over the head.

"SPEAK PROPERLY, BOY!" He ordered.

"I'M ON MY PERIOD!" Princess cried.

Everyone paused. There was a long scilence while everyone questioned his gender.

"Anyway, what do you guys think about going to the beach?" IIC asked the Akatsuki.

Itachi turned to Superkella. Superkella nodded at him.

"I would enjoy it if I could join you in going to said beach." He said.

Kisame looked at Vomvom. Vomvom nodded and cracked her knuckles.

"I'll go." Kisame said.

"TOBI LOVES THE BEACH! TOBI WILL GO!" Tobi chimed in.

Everyone in the Akatsuki agreed to go. Everyone was just about to go, when suddenly, someone knocked at the door. Dan opened the door to see none other that team Taka standing there. The French-English-Combo Of doom all crowded around the door.

"What do yous want?" Vomvom asked.

Sasuke bowed his head slightly.

"I have come to believe Uchiha Itachi is here, I want to see him." He asked.

"Fuck you!" Kandy Kid yelled and he slammed the door on his duck ass hair.

"EVERYONE GET READY TO GO TO THE BEACH!" Dan announced.

Itachi went with Superkella to help her choose a bathing suit that didn't make her look fat. IIC put on her swimming togs and stepped into the hallway.

"Does this make me look fat?" She asked to whoever was going past, she didn't bother to check who.

"No, your fucking fat makes you look fat." Hidan chuckled.

Suddenly, IIC let a jet of ice stream out of her mouth. Hidan's head was frozen into a block of ice. IIC smiled and went to find a towel.

Vomvom got changed into her togs. Kisame was organising everything else for her. She sat on the bed and relaxed.

"Quicker Kisame!" She ordered.

In Superkellas room, Itachi patiently waited for her to try on each of he swimming togs as many times as she liked and was prepared to say: 'You look great' 1000 times. That was what he expected. Superkella actually gave him some togs.

"Do these smell?" She asked.

"…no…" Itachi replied.

Superkella quickly threw them on and grabbed a towel.

"Let's go." She said.

Itachi did not question her and nodded.

Everyone was ready to go.

"TO THE BEACH!" Princess yelled.

Superkella made sure to bring her milkshake mix with her and some milk. She and Itachi both walked together, talking about jutsu and Uchihas. Itachi kept on observing Superkellas actions and mimicking them. Tobi and Kandy Kid both walked together, talking about sunshine and lollypops. Dan and Pein walked together, talking about world peace. Konan and Princess walked together. Konan didn't want to talk and Princess kept on trying to make conversation. Finally, Konan had had enough and gave Princess a massive paper cut. Princess was quiet from then on. Vomvom was riding on Kisames back while he carried her bags. She had deliberately packed extra for him to carry. IIC and Hidan were both arguing with each other and yelling insults. It was such a fun journey.

When they arrived. Vomvom and Kisame and Kandy Kid all ran to the water first. They all ran until they were up to their chests.

"IT'S COLD!" Kandy Kid wailed.

Vomvom had all ready dove under, so she wasn't and Kisame was part fish, so he was used to the water. They both stared at Kandy Kid. Vomvom took this opportunity to tackle Kisame into the water. Kisame had gills and Vomvom was immortal, so they both fought each other underwater.

IIC looked over to Superkella.

"Do you wanna go swimming yet?" She asked casually.

Superkella looked into the water. Kandy Kid was standing there, shivering and Vomvom and Kisame were nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, Vomvom went flying out of the water. She went about 10 feet in the air, then smashed the ocean again. Kisame's head popped out of the water.

"Point one for Kisame!" He announced.

Superkella turned back to IIC.

"Nah, not yet. Let's build a sandcastle." She suggested.

IIC shrugged.

"Alright." She agreed.

They both sat in the sand and began pushing it into a pile. Itachi was amazed by how they could be entertained by this, so he decided to help. Again, he mimicked IIC and Superkella. Hidan had wandered off and was nowhere to be seen. Dan stretched his arms out.

"Let's go!" He said to Princess.

Princess reluctantly followed him into the water. The rest of the Akatsuki (not including Hidan or Itachi) all decided to go as well.

It wasn't long before absolute pandemonium broke out. Kisame and Vomvom were both trying to drown each other, Pein was floating above the water and Dan was trying to grab his leg and pull him in. Konan stayed on the beach. She hated water. Itachi, IIC and Superkella's sandcastle was turning out rather well. They kept on whispering to each other and nodding. They then continued sculpting. Hidan was still nowhere to be seen. Deidara was walking on the water, blowing up fish. Zetsu had closed himself in his venus flytrap and sunk.

"Hey, where's Princess?" Superkella asked.

She looked out to sea to see Princess swimming as fast as he could back to shore.

"Why is he…"

"KATSU!"

Suddenly, a massive explosion occoured underwater. The water all splashed in the air and sprinkled down. Everyone gasped. IIC began to clap and everyone else followed in suit. Deidara bowed.

IIC was busy working on the sandcastle, when the sand shook slightly. She stoped sculpting and pulled her hands away. The sand shuddered again. IIC leaned closer to the sand to see if there were any bugs. Suddenly, Hidan's face exploded out of the sand castle.

"BWAAAAAHHHH!" He yelled.

IIC had a mini heart attack and jumped backwards.

"You bastard!" She cried as she raised her hands.

Two jest of ice came out of her hands. Hidan jumped out of the way, ruining the sand castle. Superkella looked crestfallen.

"I worked so hard on it…" She muttered.

Itachi saw his role model was sad and began to chase after Hidan. His sharingan was activated. Hidan pulled the fingers at them and ran as fast as he could. IIC couldn't quite keep up with Hidan. She turned to Itachi.

"Kage Bushin No Jutsu." He uttered quietly.

Suddenly, another Itachi appeared in front of Hidan. Hidan skidded to a halt and IIC dove on top of him.

What a fun day at the beach.


	21. Twentyfirst Chapter Of Crap

Everyone was at the beach, swimming in the cool water. Kisame, Kandy Kid, Princess and Vomvom were all playing 'Let's catch some fish'. Itachi and Superkella were playing 'Let's do random stuff with blank expressions'. IIC and Hidan were playing 'FUCK YOU YA FUCKIN' CUNT!'. Dan and Pein were playing 'Let's try and keep order'. At one point, Vomvom mistook Princesses hand for a fish and swam up to him and bit it. Princess screamed and lifted Vomvom out of the water, she was still attached to his hand. Dan immediately broke into a fit of laughter.

"Nice, Vomvom!" He exclaimed.

Everyone was having a chaotic time.

"Hey, who's that on the beach?" IIC asked.

On the shore, two people were waving at them. One was a boy with a white shirt, baggy pants and a gold chain around his neck.

"Oh god, It's butterscotch…" Vomvom muttered as she face palmed.

Everyone moaned in unison.

The other girl on the beach looked quite peaceful. She had a black shirt which said 'DoubleEi' in big green letters and she had some denim shorts on.

"Who's that, un?" Deidara asked.

Everyone was watching the 2 people on the beach. The girl started yelling something.

"What'd she say?" Kandy Kid asked.

"Maybe if you shut up, we'd be able to hear!" Vomvom said angrily as she backhanded him.

"Superkella! IIC!" The girl yelled.

Everyone looked at Superkella and IIC. Superkella smiled awkwardly.

"I don't know who she is..." Superkella stated.

Everyone made their way into shore.

"Yo! Wassup ma playaz?" Butterscotch asked.

Everyone stared at him.

"Digizzle ma rizzle fo shizzle." Princess replied.

"You feelin' me dawg? Don't be playin." Butterscotch said.

"Hell yeah, ma man. I feeling yo vibe brotha."

"You down with da possie?"

"Ma bothas and sistas up in 'ere bro."

"Mean."

TRANSLATION

"Hi."

"Hey, you speak try hard?"

"Yeah, do you?"

"Yeah, I do. I understand you."

"Are these your friends."

"My best friends."

"Mean."

TRANSLATION

Everyone stared at Princess in awe.

"I was in a class full of try hards at ninja school." He said.

Everyone nodded. They then turned their attention to the girl who had waved at them. She smiled at them all.

"Hi, Vomvom!" She said as she waved at Vomvom.

"Who the fuck are you?" She asked.

Superkella punched her in the arm.  
>"Vomvom! Be nice for once!" She ordered.<p>

"Oh, it's ok. I doubt any of you remember me." The girl said.

"Nah, we don't." IIC said.

"We were in ninja school together. IIC, I helped you kill Kandy Kid and Superkella, I helped you to kill that teacher guy and Vomvom, when you were about 3, I got you into body building which is why your so strong." The girl said.

IIC, Superkella, Vomvom and Kandy Kid all thought.

"YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!" Kandy Kid asked in outrage.

The girl looked shocked that he was still alive, but put it behind her. She nodded.

"Yup." She said.

Kandy Kid threw a hissy fit.

IIC and Superkella both looked really happy to have a long lost friend. They both smiled and hugged her. Everyone then stared at Vomvom. She looked shocked beyond belief.

"…You made me strong…." She said.

The girl nodded. Vomvom stood there for a second before a large smile spread across her face and _tears _came out of her eyes. She ran up to her and hugged her.

"YOU ARE MY **GOD**!" She wailed.

They all had an emotional reunion while everyone else just watched.

"You all look like lesbians." Kakuzu pointed out.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at him.

"…You sound like Optimus Prime…" Dan pointed out.

Kakuzu's eyes narrowed.

"My identity has been reviled." He muttered while 'New Divide' played in the background.

Vomvom, IIC and Superkella had stopped their big reunion. IIC and Superkella both walked off with their friend. Vomvom walked over to Butterscotch.

"Sup my homie?" He asked.

Vomvom translated this in her head, then though of a reply.

"Nothin' much, gee. What you doin' in this neck of the woods?" She tried to communicate.

Vomvom actually had no idea what she was saying, she had just seen loads of gangster movies.

"Bro, you know how I roll. I'm down with ma home boys." He replied.

Princess then randomly came into the conversation.

"Vomvom, he said, I'm here coz you are."

Vomvom nodded.

"Can you translate for me?" She asked.

"Sure." Princess said happily.

"Do you want anything…?" Vomvom asked.

Butterscotch turned to Princess.

"Yo, she be askin' what she can hook yo up with." Princess said.

Butterscotch smiled.

"Dawg, what I need is a crib and yo guys place is mean. Can I crash there and be part of yo possie?" He asked.

"He wants to live with us and join our group." Princess said distainfully.

Vomvom snorted.

"Weeeelllll… He does annoy Dannnnn…." Vomvom stretched out he words as she thought.

She nodded at Butterscotch.

"Welcome to the team!" She said.

Butterscotch held out his fist. Vomvom stared at it.

"…what a pathetic punch…" She said.

Princess shook his head.

"_Lightly _hit his fist with your fist. _Lightly._" He instructed.

Vomvom did as she was told and lightly tapped his fist with hers. Butterscotch smiled at her and walked off.

Down the beach, IIC and Superkella were both talking to DoubleEi. Eventually, the conversation turned to the French-English-Combo Of Doom.

"So, do you want to be in our totally awesome group lead by a sexy beast?" IIC asked.

DoubleEi paused in thought.

"You mean that really tall, hot, sexy guy with the JB haircut?" She asked.

Superkella and IIC nodded.

"That's the guy. He's called Dan." Superkella said.

"Ok. So do you guys really want me to join your org?" DoubleEi asked hopefully.

Superkella and IIC both nodded. DoubleEi smiled widely.

"Then of course I'll join." She said.

They all jumped in the air and hi 5ed while heroic music played and the sun set. They all freeze framed in the air and ending credits rolled up the screen.


	22. Twentysecond Chapter Of Crap

Everyone in the French-English-Combo Of Doom was having an amazing time at the beach. IIC was plotting some evil demise against Hidan, Superkella and DoubleEi was building another sandcastle and Itachi was helping, Dan was trying to drown Princess and Pein decided to help, Vomvom and Butterscotch were trying to catch a fish and Kisame was showing off his swimming skills, Kandy Kid and Tobi were both having a sandcastle competition. The rest of the Akatsuki were just diving under waves.

Suddenly, IIC had an amazing idea.

"Let's go to Konoha!" She announced.

Superkella's head popped up from behind her sand castle.

"Why would we want to do that?" She asked.

"Yeah." Kandy Kid agreed.

"I agree." Itachi added.

Dan glared at everyone.

"Hey!" He yelled "I'm the Leader here! You guys need to consult me before you randomly decide to go somewhere!"

"Shut the fuck up." Hidan spat.

IIC turned to Dan expectantly. She put on her cute face.

"Can we please go…" She hesitated for a moment "…Daddy…?"

Dan's eyes lit up and a smile spread across his face.

"Daddy!" He said happily

IIC gulped and nodded at Dan. Dan ran up to her and hugged her. IIC pushed him away.

"Ew, get off. You need to earn one of my hugs." She said.

Dan looked down at his feet sadly. He then looked up and looked normal again.

"EVERYONE! WE'RE GOING TO KONOHA!" He announced, but his voice was too quiet.

"Princess, get your feminine ass over here." Dan said.

Princess came over to Dan.

"Use that voice jutsu thingy you've got." Dan ordered.

Princess glared at him.

"It's called Voice Alterising Jutsu." Princess corrected.

Dan waved his hand carelessly.

"Whatever, just do it." He said.

Princess took a deep breath in. He did a few hand signs, then spoke.

"EVERYONE! GET OUT OF THE WATER! WE'RE GOING TO KONOHA!" He said in an unbelievably loud voice.

Princess cleared his throat and looked up to his big brother.

"How was that?" He asked in his normal voice.

Dan nodded. Everyone came out of the water.

"Why in fuck's fucking name are we going to shitty old Konoha?" Hidan asked as he shook some water out of his ear.

"Shut up, you son of a bitch. It was my idea." IIC said angrily.

"I would expect something shit like that from a slut like you." He replied.

"I dare you to say that again." IIC warned.

DoubleEi turned to Superkella.

"Should we do something?" She asked.

Superkella shook her head.

"They do this all the time. Just leave them." She said.

DoubleEi nodded and watched Hidan and IIC.

"I. Would. Expect. Something. Shit. Like. That. From. A. Slut. Like. You." Hidan replied.

"Vomvom! Hidan said you like Princess!" IIC yelled.

Hidan's smile faded. He turned around just in time to see Vomvom's fist before it collided with his face. Everyone clapped except for DoubleEi and Butterscotch.

"Woah…" DoubleEi said.

"My god, Vomvom, yo trippin'." Butterscotch said.

Dan raised his fist into the air.

"Let's go to Konoha!" He said.

Everyone nodded. They all left the beach and headed into the forest.

15 minutes later, everyone was jumping through the trees, following Dan. IIC and Hidan were both trying to shove each other out of the trees, Superkella and DoubleEi and Itachi were all talking about school and learning and how they hated it, Vomvom and Kandy Kid and Princess were all talking about video games, violent movies and weapons. Dan was talking to Konan and Pein about the Jinchuuriki and who they should send to collect them. Butterscotch was trying to teach Zetsu how to rap. The rest of the Akatsuki were randomly jumping into their conversations.

Finally, they arrived in Konoha. They all walked in the gates, but were stopped by 2 ninja. One of them was a grown man wearing a green jumpsuit with a red headband tied around his waist. Hid hair was black and shiny and he had big eyebrows. The other one was identical to the first man, but he looked younger.

"Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, but I must ask you why you are here." Rock Lee asked.

Dan, being at the front decided to answer. He shrugged.

"Because." He said.

"Because what?" Guy asked.

"Just because."

"Hey, why do you guys need this security thingy anyway?" Superkella asked.

Guy looked at them all dangerously.

"A member of our village has been kidnapped. His name was Naruto Uzumaki. We suspect the Akatsuki, but we can't be sure. We can't let this happen again." Guy said.

Superkella suddenly began whistling.

"Hang on, Guy sensei! Those are the Akatsuki cloaks! And that is the girl who was seen attacking Naruto!" Lee yelled.

"Gap it." Princes said.

Everyone hightailed it away from the village.

Once they were a ways away, Dan made an announcement.

"I guess we can't go to Konoha…" He said sadly.

IIC burst into pretend tears.

"Daddy, you said we would!" She moped.

Hidan imitated IIC.

"Yeah, Daddy!" He cried.

Everyone thought that was their que to do the same, so they did.

"Daddy, how could you!"

"We trusted you, Daddy!"

"Vomvom dosen't like her dad! She wants a new one!"

"Nee-Chan! Now look what you've done!" Princess said.

Finally, Dan gave in.

"ALRIGHT! But we need to sneak in." He said.

Everyone suddenly stopped crying. IIC smiled.

"Daddy's girl." Hidan mumbled.

IIC swiftly raised her hand and created a block of ice between Hidan's legs. Hidan suddenly turned pale and fell to the ground.

"…fuck me…" He said.

Dan pointed towards Konoha.

"We will go to Konoha!... In the next chapter!"

Everyone sighed angrily.

"Why not now?" DoubleEi asked.

"Because I'm too lazy to write more. Don't be a bitch." Dan snapped.

"Hey, yo. I think youz is da lazy fucker." Butterscotch rapped.

"Hey, fuck you with a chainsaw." Dan replied.

"I DON'T WANT THE CHAPTER TO END!" Kandy Kid wailed.

"Vomvom demands that you keep going!" Vomvom said as she cracked her knuckles.

Dan shook his head reluctantly. Everyone attacked him.

The End Until Dan Writes More, But He's Lazy, So Don't Get Your Hopes Up.


	23. Twentythird Chapter Of FILLER

Tobi walked into the Akatsuki hideout carrying a big bag.

"Tobi, what the hell are you doing with that bag, un?" Deidara asked.

The masked ninja didn't answer but only kept walking. Being curious like all blondes are, Deidara followed. The two passed the rest of the group in the kitchen. They stopped talking about what types of fish were good to eat and looked at Tobi.

"Do I even want to know, Tobi?" Itachi asked.

Again the masked man didn't answer. Soon every member of the FECOD was following the hyper masked ninja.

"Tobi you fucking retarded! What the fuck are you doing with that bag?" Hidan cursed.

"It's probably a pointless thing he wants to do," Itachi said calmly.

"Oh my gosh, what if Tobi is trying to hide something from us? And he has a bag to put whatever he is hiding?" Princess asked worriedly.

"You think he's trying to get rid of something secret? Like what?" Kisame said.

" His personal selection of candy? Or something more horrible?" DoubleEi said.

"Like he's actually Orochimaru in disguise and he's been taking something from us when we've been asleep?" Superkella added.

" What fuck are you talking about?" Hidan yelled. " He's probably collecting dust for his dust bunny collection!"

Vomvom snorted and rolled her eyes.

"But what if his dust bunnies get really big and he uses a special jutsu to make them come to life, and they attack us all?" She asked.

Everyone stared at her for a moment.

"Tobi, buddy… what's in the bag?" Kandy Kid asked.

Again, Tobi said nothing. He just continued walking down the hall.

"Tobi, as the leader, I demand you tell me what is in that bag." Dan said seriously.

Tobi didn't respond.

"Hey, Tobi! Didn't you hear skyscraper, un! What's in the bag!" Deidara said angrily.

"Yo, Tobz, tell us what's in yo bag. C'mon gee, don't be a fag." Butterscotch rapped.

Tobi ignored all of them.

"TOBI! I'M GONNA COUNT TO 3!" Superkella warned as she grabbed her sword "1…2…3!"

On 3, everyone jumped on top of Tobi. He screamed like a little girl.

"GIMMIE THAT FUCKING BAG!" Hidan yelled.

"No! I deserve it more!" Princess cried as he elbowed Hidan in the neck.

"I'M THE LEADER! GIVE ME THE BAG!"

"VOMVOM WANTS BAG! VOMVOM SMASH!"

"VOMVOM! YOU BITCH! I'M ON YOUR SIDE!" Superkella yelled when Vomvom kicked her in the jaw.

Superkella pulled out her sword and plunged it into the pile of ninja.

"HOLY MOTHER FUCK! WHAT WAS THAT!" Hidan cried.

"My sword." Superkella replied.

"FUCK YOU! THIS IS A NEW ROBE!"

Everyone was having a massive brawl over the bag. Suddenly, Kandy Kid emerged from the pile and ran off with the bag in his hand. Everyone saw him and immediately chased after him. Kandy Kid had to dodge Kunai's, shiruken and paper bombs left and right. He thought he would be able to get away, but DoubleEi caught him. She jumped on top of him and snatched the bag out of his hand. She then leapt in front of him and began sprinting. Everyone chased her through the hideout.

"Hey, yo. Don't be messin' wit meh. Wot be in dat package girl?" Butterscotch asked.

Everyone was yelling abuse at DoubleEi as she ran. Finally, IIC caught her. She grabbed the bag and made a run for it. This went on for ages until finally, Kandy Kid had had enough. He made some hand signs and preformed a jutsu. Dan had the bag at the time, so he was in front of everyone. Kandy Kid's jutsu created a large wall of sugar dough right in front of Dan. Dan ran straight into it. Everyone else was close behind him, so they all mimicked Dan and smashed into the wall. Kandy Kid grabbed the bag and opened it. He looked inside it. He then tipped it's contents onto the floor. A mask rolled onto the floor. It was purple and resembled the rinnengan, but had sharingan markings on it.

"Ew, what an ugly mask." Kakuzu said.

"We were fighting over that?" Itachi asked.

"What a waste of my good fucking time!" Hidan bellowed.

"Here, Tobi. Have your shit back." Superkella said as she kicked the mask towards Tobi.

Tobi smiled and picked up his new mask, he then skipped off to his room.


	24. Twentyfourth Chapter Of Crap

"DAN! NO MORE FILLERS!" IIC yelled "You promised we'd go to Konoha!"

Everyone yelled at Dan. Dan raised his hands.

"Alright, alright, let's go." He said reluctantly.

IIC clapped her hands enthusiastically.

"Hidan! Carry me!" She demanded.

"Fuck off, bitch." Hidan replied.

IIC paied no attention to this and jumped on Hidan's back anyway.

"Get the fuck off me, you slut!" Hidan yelled as he tried to beat IIC off.

Everyone watched them struggle. DoubleEi cheered for IIC.

Finally, they stopped. They both got up and glared at each other.

"Bitch"

"Dick."

They then both lead the way to Konoha. Everyone followed. They all walked in and pushed Lee and Gai aside.

"What should we do first?" Dan asked.

"Vomvom wants to go to the ramen bar!" Vomvom cried.

"I'm with Vomvom!" Princess agreed quickly.

"Nah, I wanna go to the ninja weapon place!" Superkella said.

Everyone broke into a massive argument about what to do. Eveanntually Dan pulled everything to order.

"Ok, everyone gather in a circle." He said calmly.

Suddenly, everyone noticed IIC was gone. Everyone looked up.

"IIC, don- " Kandy Kid began.

IIC had made a sword out of ice and was holding it to the throat of Shizune. Everyone stared at her.

"IIC, Don't kill her!" DoubleEi yelled.

Vomvom shoved her aside.

"RIP HER GUTS OUT! DON'T HOLD BACK!" She bellowed.

Superkella punched her in the back of the head.

"Vomvom, shut the fuck up." She ordered.

Everyone was yelling at IIC weather she should kill Shizune or not. IIC debaited this in her head. She looked at them and smiled and waved with her free hand. She then looked at Shizune. She smiled at her too.

"Bye bye." She said happily.

She then sliced her sword through Shizune's neck. Her severed head rolled onto the floor. Everyone in the village stared in silent shock. The only thing that broke the silence was the FECOD cheering loudly. Suddenly, Konoha shinobi attact the French-English-Combo-Of Doom from all angles. IIC had to fight Neji. Vomvom had to fight Kiba. Superkella had to fight Shino. Princess had to fight Sakura. Dan had to fight Naruto. Kandy Kid had to fight Ino DoubleEi had to fight Chouji. Butterscotch had to fight Shikamaru. The Akatsuki all fought the Hokage, Kakashi, Asuma, Iruka, and Ibuzu. It was a battle for the ages. Dan ran at Naruto and punched him in the face. Suddenly, Naruto disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Dan looked around for the real Naruto.

"TAIJU! KAGE BUSHIN NO JUTSU DATTEBAYO!" Naruto cried.

Suddenly, there were about 500 Naruto's. Dan had to fight them all off.

Princess ran at Sakura and ninja kicked her in the face. He braced himself for her counter attack, but nothing happened. He looked up. Sakura was crying.

"SASUKE-KUN! PLEASE SAVE ME!" She wailed.

Princess rolled his eyes and kicked her once again. Again, Sakura didn't fight back. Princess giggled and beat up Sakura.

"Sas…uke…kunnnnn…" She said between getting kicked and punched.

Princess knocked Sakura to the ground and began jumping on her face.

Superkella pulled out her sword and held it up, ready to strike. The Shino became covered in black bugs.

"Aw, dude that's gross." Superkella said.

Shino stared at her.

"Bugs are not gross, bugs help the earth. Why? Because they…" Shino began.

"What the fuck? You talking to yourself, because I didn't ask, nor do I care why." Superkella interrupted.

Shino held up his arms and insects came shooting out and tried to attack Superkella. Superkella wasn't good at fighting small things, so she screamed a 'battle cry' and swung her sword wildly.

IIC stood in her fighting stance and stared at Neji. Neji's pupilless eyes stared back.

"It is not your destiny to win this." He said.

IIC stared at him.

"You sure about that?" She asked.

Neji nodded.

"And how do you know this?" IIC asked.

"Byakugan can see everything." He replied.

"hmm… Well, when you put it that way… Bullshit."

"Enough. Let me show you the power of Byakugan."

"Come at me bro!"

IIC summoned an ice dragon and made it attack Neji. Neji jumped out of the way of it's head, but it's tail slammed him to the ground. IIC laughed evilly.

"You are no match for me!" She cried.

"8 trigrams 64 rotation!" He cried.

Suddenly, he spun around really fast and some blue shit went around him. It destroyed IIC's dragon's tail.

"FUCK!" IIC yelled.

Neji ran at IIC and a big green ying yang formed on the ground.

"You're finished." Neji announced.

IIC had an idea. She stared at Neji like this T_T and stepped backwards. She was outside of his ying yang. Neji stared in shock. This had never happened to him before. Neji suddenly fell to the floor. IIC stared at him.

"…He fainted…" She said to herself.

Vomvom laughed manically.

"Finally, I can fight someone without having to worry about killing them!" She yelled.

"Don't worry, Akumaru. We can take her." Kiba whispered to his dog.

Vomvom laughed. She cracked her knuckles and prepared to fight.

"GATSUGA!" Kiba cried.

Suddenly, him and Akumaru turned into a giant rotating thingy. They aimed at Vomvom.

"Holy shit!" Vomvom cried.

Vomvom was too busy swearing to dodge the attack. Once the smoke cleared, Vomvom was holding Kiba by the scruff of the neck. She laughed and began beating him up. Akumaru bit Vomvom on the arm, but she didn't even notice.

Butterscotch stared at Shikamaru.

"Yo, sup ma home boy." He said.

Shikamaru thought and analyzed everything about him. Finally, he came to a conclusion. He formed a hand seal and his shadow extended.

"Woah, dat be trippin'" Butterscotch said.

Shikamaru caught Butterscotch in his shadow hold.

"Wat be dis sheit? Voodoo?" Buttersctch asked.

Butterscotch managed to break out and figured out a technique. He jumped on Shikamaru's back and refused to let go.

DoubleEi stared at Chouji distainfully as he munched on a bag of chips. She waited for him to attack, but nothing happened. She sighed.

"Hey fat ass, you gonna do something?" She asked after a long wait.

Chouji stopped eating and a shadow covered his eyes.

"…Do you wanna say that again…?" He asked darkly.

"Say what? You gonna do something? What?" DoubleEi.

"You called me a fatass didn't you!" Chouji demanded.

"Oh, yeah, but you just need to calm down It's just a name."

"IT IS NOT 'Just a name' IT'S NOT EVEN TRUE! IT IS PUDGE!"

Chouji lunged at DoubleEi. She easily dodged him and he made a crater in the wall behind her.

"Woaaahhh. Calm down, man!" DoubleEi cried.

"TAKE IT BACK!"

"Alright fine, I take it back, you are not fat!"

"NOT GOOD ENOUGH!"

Chouji attacked her again. DoubleEi knew she couldn't dodge this attack. She squealed. DoubleEi opened her eyes and looked around. She was fine. She looked down at her body.

"Thank god for my metal jutsu." She said to nobody.

Without meaning to, DoubleEi had coated her body in metal armor. DoubleEi smiled to herself.

"Hey, fatty! That all you got!" She asked.

"I AM NOT FAT! IT'SN PUDGE! YOU HEAR ME! P-U-D-G-E!" Chouji replied.

DoubleEi smirked. She could not be harmed by any attacks.

Kandy Kid ran at Ino. He jumped on her and began pulling her hair.

"DIE BITCH!" He yelled.

Kandy Kid was not the best at fighting, so he relied on his friends, but they were all busy. Kandy Kid just managed to do one summoning. He summoned a big orange gummy bear just slightly taller that him.

"Get her." Kandy Kid ordered.

The gummy bear lunged at Ino and began beating her up.

"Ahh….. Sasuke-Kun… will…save me…soon…" Ino mumbled.

"Good luck with that." Kandy Kid replied.

Eveantually, all of the Konoha Shinobi were defeated. Everyone made sure not to kill them so they could spread the word about them. They needed more followers.

"That was too easy." Superkella said.

"I know right. I beat him straight away." DoubleEi replied.

"What about you, IIC?" Princess asked.

No answer. Everyone looked up and saw IIC in the Konoha jail.

"When the hell did that happen?" Kandy Kid asked.

Everyone ran over to the jail.

"IIC, you dumb bitch! How could you let this happen!" Dan cried.

"Yeah, you're nothing but a dumbass. We should have left you in the kitchen." Hidan added.

Suddenly, Vomvom grabbed his collar and pushed her face close to his.

"What was that, you sexist bastard?" She asked.

"Nothing!" Hidan replied.

Everyone turned back to IIC.

"We will rescue you!" DoubleEi said.

"Yeah, gurl. We buts yo ass outta dere." Butterscotch said.

"…..In the next chapter." Dan said.

*Troll Face*


	25. Twentyfith Chapter Of Crap

Everyone looked at IIC through the rusty bars of the small prison cell. She was leaning against them and clutching them with her fists. Her knuckled had turned white.

"Please get me out of jail, guys." She said in desperation "The girl I share the cell with is a lunatic!"

As if to prove her point, IIC's cellmate burst into psychotic laughter. IIC's pupils shrunk.

"Get me out of here!" She demanded.

Everyone stepped away from the bars a little, worried that they would pay the price.

"Vomvom, why don't you just bend the bars and pull her out?" Dan asked hopefully.

Vomvom glared at him.  
>"Vomvom does everything around here and she doesn't even get thanked! Plus, she's not even in your shitty group!" She scolded.<p>

Dan looked at her with an attempt at a cute face. Vomvom stared at him for a moment. Suddenly, she burst into hysteric laughter.

"Oh my god, your face!" She cried between laughs.

Everyone stared at Vomvom.

"Vomvom, stop it! This is serious." Superkella ordered sternly.

Vomvom pulled herself under control.

"What are we going to do?" DoubleEi asked worriedly.

Dan smiled.

"I've got a plan." He announced.

Everyone organised the plan.

"This is our best plan yet!" Kandy Kid cried happily.

Everyone nodded. They all put their hands in a circle.

"Bust IIC and her stupid slutty ass out of prison!" They all cried as they lifted their hands into the air.

Hidan came up with the chant. Everyone walked in front of the prison and assumed their designated positions. They all stood in a large mob. They all then rammed into the prison at full speed, using Dan as a battering ram. Princess was the second strongest out of all of them (aside from Vomvom) so he was in charge of wielding Giraffe-Man Dan. He pounded his fuck ugly face into the wall until it finally caved in. IIC ran out swiftly and they all evacuated the village. But, first, they ate some ramen at Ichiraku and set fire to a few buildings. Everyone carried Princess and cheered. If it wasn't for him, IIC would still be in jail. Vomvom _could _have helped, but she felt too awesome to help IIC get out of something she got herself into. Everyone threw a victory party for Princess and signed an unbreakable bind of the holy lords above to never be mean to him again.


	26. Twentysixth Chapter Of Crap

Everyone was back at the hideout and IIC was out of prison. Turns out that for the last part, Princess had somehow managed to make everyone high on cocaine, so they didn't know what they were doing. Everyone ripped the contract up into a million billion shreds, stomped on it and set it on fire. Princess got really upset, but soon forgot about it.

It was a glorious day in the French-English-Combo Of doom hideout, Hidan was swearing, Vomvom was punching and Dan was awesoming. Butterscotch was wandering around the hideout, looking at what everyone was doing. He saw Kandy Kid trying to face the biggest chocolate bar he had ever seen in his life. He saw Hidan playing soccer with IIC's head. He saw DoubleEi talking to Zetsu and doing a motion awfully similar to the one he did when he yelled 'HALOOOOOOOOOOO'. He saw Superkella yelling at Dan that awesoming is not a word. He saw Vomvom punching a wall. He saw Princess running away from something. Then he saw Kisame running after Princess yelling 'get back here, you ass hole!'. Butterscotch shrugged and decided to watch them. It didn't take long for Kisame to catch Princess and beat the living daylights out of him. Butterscotch sighed heavily and dramatically to himself. There was nothing to do. He looked for something interesting to do. He decided to watch Kandy Kid tackle the massive bar of chocolate.

Butterscotch sat down opposite Kandy Kid and watched him begin to devour the massive bar. It only took him 1 minute and 30 seconds before the entire bar had been eaten. Kandy Kid let out a large burp.

"Kandy!" DoubleEi said angrily "Manners!"

Kandy Kid sniggered.

"Pardon." He said.

Kandy Kid licked the chocolate off of his face. He burped once again.

"That was awesome!" Butterscotch cried.

It was only then that Kandy Kid actually acknowledged his existence. H looked over to him blankly.

"Oh, thanks." He said.

"How do you do that!" Butterscotch asked enthusiastically.

Kandy Kid thought long and hard about this.

"…Hmmm…Well, first, I open my mouth. Then, I- " He began.

"No, I didn't mean like that, I mean, How do you eat so much without feeling sick." Butterscotch asked.

Kandy Kid thought again.

"Hey, IIC, how do I eat so much without feeling sick!" He yelled.

IIC had her head sewed back on and she was grinding Hidan's face against a stone wall. She paused to answer her brother.

"You fucking dumbass! I've told you a thousand times! You were born with an abnormally large stomach!" She yelled.

Kandy Kid turned back to Butterscotch.

"I was born with an abnormably big tummy." He said in an idiotic voice.

Butterscotch thought. His eyes lit up.  
>"That is so cool!" He said.<p>

Kandy Kid nodded.

"Can you train me!" Butterscotch asked.

Kandy Kid shook his head.

"I not smart enough to train no one." He said.

Butterscotch looked crestfallen. He sat there for ages, feeling sad. Suddenly, his head snapped up and he was beaming.

"Ok, then! If you won't train me, I'll just try and be just like you!" Butterscotch cried happily.

Kandy Kid scratched his head.

"You'll what?" He asked.

"He's gonna copy you." Superkella pitched in.

"ooohh…" Kandy Kid said "You can if you want."

Butterscotch squealed happily and ran to his room. When he came back, he was wearing clothes identical to Kandy Kid's. He smiled and sat directly opposite Kandy Kid and mirrored him. Kandy Kid ignored him and walked over to the T.V. He switched onto spongebob and began to watch. Butterscotch imitated him perfectly.

"Ha ha! Patrick is so dumb!" Kandy Kid yelled.

"No hypocrisy there…" Princess said sarcastically.

"What's hippogriffy?" Kandy Kid asked.

"What's hippogriffy?" Butterscotch asked.

Princess stared at them both and expressed all of his emotions in a simple face palm. He got up and left them both to be weirdoes.

Dan walked through the room and paused to look and Kandy Kid and Butterscotch.

"Hey, IIC, what happened to your brother?" Dan asked.

IIC waled in and stared at them both blankly. Then, her eyes widened.

"Oh, brilliant. Just what we need! Two absolute dumbasses!" She cried sarcastically.

IIC thundered out of the room. Dan shrugged at them and walked out.

Butterscotch stared at Kandy Kid with a look of delight on his face.

"I'm gonna be juuuusst liiiikke yooooouuu…" He said while his eyes turned into stars.

Kandy Kid screamed in horror and ran away. That was too creepy for him. Kandy Kid hated Butterscotch copying him. He tried to find someone to help him. Someone wise and smart who would give him a logical answer.

"Superkella! Superkellaaaa!" He cried as he ran through the hideout.

Superkella stopped sharpening her sword and glanced up at him.

"Yo." She said casually.

"Superkella! You're smart, right?" Kandy Kid asked desperately.

Superkella put her thumb in her mouth like L does and thought. She stopped after a while and smiled at Kandy Kid.

"Why yes. Yes I am." She said.

"Ok, good. What do you do if someones copying you and won't stop?" Kandy Kid asked.

Superkella went all L style again. She stopped after a minute or two and looked at Kandy Kid again.

"Is he really annoying you?"

"Yesss."

"Well, you could always… I dunno… Ask him to stop."

Kandy Kid hadn't even thought of that.

"Thanks, Superkella!" He cried as he ran off to find Butterscotch.

It didn't take Kandy Kid long to find Butterscotch. Kandy Kid marched right up to him and looked him dead in the eye.

"Stop copying me, Butterscotch." He said.

"…No." Butterscotch replied.

Kandy Kid didn't know what to do. So he panicked and ran. He went back to the oh-so-wise-and-smart-Superkella.

"He said 'No'!" Kandy Kid cried.

"Oh well I've got an easy solution for that one. Deal with it." She replied coldly.

Kandy Kid slowly walked away, and then he thought (!).

"I guess being idolised isn't that bad." He said to himself.

Kandy Kid smiled and strutted around the hideout. Butterscotch stood behind him and did the exact same thing.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: NOT WRITTEN BY DAN!**


	27. Twentyseventh Chapter Of Crap

Everyone in the FECOD was bored. There was nothing to do. They were all sitting around, watching T.V.

"…The fuck are we watching?" Hidan asked after a while.

Vomvom, who was in charge of the remote, rolled her eyes.

"You dumbass. It's boxing." She said as if it was the most obvious question in the world.

"I don't get it. Why don't they use their chakara?" Pein asked.

"Because the point is you can only punch." Vomvom replied.

"Why are they wearing those bulky, fingerless gloves?" Itachi asked.

"So they don't hurt each other too bad."

"Why bother hitting someone if you have no intention of hurting them?" Kisame asked.

"Fine then! Change it!" Vomvom cried as she threw the remote in the air.

Everyone dove for the remote. Sadly, Princess grabbed it. He quickly changed it to fluffy-girly-pony-teddy-bear-unicorn-rainbow-picnic-tea-party garden. Everyone groaned.

Suddenly, the door burst open. In the rain stood a boy who looked about 16. He was wearing a pink shirt with puffy arms and his collar was very low. He had a big black belt on and blue jeans that were way to tight and made him look like a pansy.

"Hello everyone!" He said in a very gay, nasely voice.

Everyone stared at him. In unison, everyone except for IIC, Superkella and DoubleEi burst into a laughing fit.

"D-did you hear him!" Dan said between laughter.

Kisame blocked his nose and struck a gay pose.

"Hello everyone!" He said.

Everyone laughed even harder. IIC, Superkella and DoubleEi all ran up to the obviously homosexual man.

"Hi, Stan!" They cried as they hugged him.

"Wassup girlfriends!" Stan replied.

Superkella turned to Dan. She put on her 'puppy dog' face.

"Dannnn." She said in an attempt at a cute voice "This is our buddy, Stan. Can he stay?"

Everyone stopped laughing immediately.

"Huh?" Everyone asked in unison.

"We want him to join the French-English-Combo Of Doom." DoubleEi said.

Everyone stared at Stan. Then at Dan. Then back at Stan.

Vomvom and Princess both smiled.

"He's not joining us!" They both whispered.

"I wanna join Group Team." Kandy Kid said quickly.

"Sure thing, bro. Welcome aboard." Vomvom said.

Kandy Kid smiled, knowing he was away from the raging homo.

Butterscotch quickly copied his idol.

"I wanna join, too!" He said.

"Sure." Vomvom said.

Suddenly, Princess addressed Dan.

"You can join my group if you like." He said.

Everyone in the FECOD smiled. Everyone in Group team pulled this face :O

Stan smiled.

"Why thank you, little guy. I think I will join." He said.

Vomvom, Kandy Kid and Butterscotch all fell to their knees dramatically.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" They all cried.

Stan smiled and walked over to Princess, waggling his haps and pouting his lips.

"Wow." Zetsu's white half said "I didn't even know it was possible, but he's even gayer that Princess."

Stan started talking to Princess about something girly and stupid. Vomvom sat on the floor with her arms and legs crossed.

"You ok, Vomvom? Kisame asked.

Vomvom didn't reply, she just looked at him like this :(

Kisame backed off.

After a short while, Vomvom stood up. She grabbed Stan by his homo hair and dragged him out of the hideout. She then launched him miles away.

"Fuck him." She said.

She walked back inside and was greeted by applause. Everyone threw a party in honour of the day satin himself appeared and was banished by the power of Jashin and a girl with super strength.


	28. Twentyeighth Chapter Of Crap

The French-English-Combo Of Doom hideout was emptier than usual. Dan had sent Zetsu, Deidara, Tobi, Kisame and Itachi all out to capture the 9 tails and to do grocery shopping. Even though they do not do much in the hideout, it seemed very different without them. Superkella had nobody to talk to about strategies and complicated manoeuvres. Kandy Kid had no one to be an immature idiot with. Vomvom had nobody to carry her around and help her smash things. Butterscotch had nobody to blow him up. Princess had nobody to eat him.

Being totally evil, super awesome, cold hearted, murderous, criminals, they didn't care too much, but they still felt a bit lonely inside. They were, in a way, their form of entertainment and with them gone, they had nothing.

Superkella let out a long, melodramatic sigh as she yanked the fridge door open. She stared inside at it's contents. There was some mouldy bread, an old can of tuna, Hidan's right hand, IIC's ice sculpture and a bag of fresh vegetables.

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn!" Superkella cried.

There was a long pause.

"…What?" Dan asked from his room.

"When can we get some real food in this shit bucket house!" She asked.

"When Itachi and them come back!"

"When is that?"

"I don't know!"

Superkella moaned loudly enough for Dan to hear.

"Oh! My stomach! Oh! The pain! I'm dying!" Superkella fell to the floor and held her stomach for good measure.

At that moment, Vomvom walked in. She stared at her older sister who appeared to be complaining to the fridge while she lay on the floor. Superkella stared up at her.

"…Hullo." Superkella said after a while.

Vomvom still stared at her. She crooked her head slightly. Superkella was unsure what to do, so she mimicked Vomvom. Vomvom turned her head to the other side. So did Superkella. Vomvom poked her cheek. Superkella copied her.

"The fuck are you doing, you idiots?" Princess asked.

Superkella jumped up in shock.

"WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM!" She yelled.

Princess raised an eyebrow sceptically.

"…My room…" He replied.

"Jesus fuck riding a retarded donkey." Superkella said as she caught her breath and clutched her heart.

"…Jesus fuck riding a donkey?" Vomvom asked.

Superkella looked up at her, slightly irritated that she did not respect the amazing-ness of the word compilation.

"Yeah. That's right." She replied.

Vomvom smiled.

"That's awesome." She said thoughtfully.

Vomvom turned away from Superkella and headed for her room. Princess happened to be in her path and sadly, got himself thrown 7 ft in the air.

Superkella left the kitchen, knowing there was nothing to do there but help Princess, and that wasn't going to happen. Superkella aimlessly wandered around the hideout for a while before she decided to visit her bestest buddie, Indigo. She skipped over to Indigo's room and pounded on the door.

"Bonjour? Que voulez-vous? Il vaut mieux être important, je suis à pratiquer mon français!" Indigo said angrily in the worst French accent ever heard.

Superkella smirked. She could speak fluent French, after all.

"Salut, Indigo! Je m'ennuie. Puis-je rester avec vous pendant un certain temps?" Superkella replied, showing off her skill.

"…Ok, can you speak English? I'm shit at French…" Indigo replied after a few moments.

"Fine then. Indigo, can I hang out here?" Superkella asked.

Indigo thought about this.

"Yeah, sure. There's nothing better to do." She replied.

Superkella pushed the door open and looked inside. The walls were all coated in ice and so was the floor. On the few shelves on the wall, there were very neat looking ice sculptures. Lining the walls were several air conditioners that were all on to stop the ice from melting. Indigo was sitting on a bed opposite the door. She was playing with a ball of ice, throwing it into the wall and watching it shatter only to reconstruct it again.

Superkella shivered when she stepped inside. She closed the door behind her and crossed her arms, trying to conserve body heat. Indigo glanced up at her. She smirked slightly and chucked her a large Eskimo jumper. Superkella quickly pulled it on.

"Th-thanks." She said, shivering.

Indigo nodded.

"No problem." She said casually.

Superkella stared at what she was wearing in disbelief. Indigo was wearing a black singlet with a small silver design on the front and some old denim shorts. And she wasn't even shivering in the slightest bit.

"Holy shit, Indigo! How are you not freezing?" Superkella asked in amazement.

Indigo turned to look at her with an unimpressed expression on her face.

"Dude, I make the ice. Ninja who breathe out fire don't complain about it burning their mouth and hands. Or about how it's too hot to be that close to it. I'm just born so that coldness doesn't affect me, but heat does." Indigo said blandly.

Superkella stared at her. Then, she strode up to Indigo and slapped her. Indigo immediately stood up. She was a head taller than Superkella.

"What the fuck was that for!" She demanded as she rubbed her cheek.

Superkella angrily stared up at her.

"Do you remember when we had that heat wave?" She asked.

Indigo thought.

"Yeah. Why?" She asked after awhile.

Superkella's facial expression changed from angry to 'are you fucking kidding me'.

"My god, I can see how you and Kandy Kid are related." She mumbled "Why didn't you let us stay in your room!" She asked.

Indigo frowned at her.

"You guys would trash the place!" She yelled.

"Oh, thanks a fucking lot! You care more about your room than you do about your friends for life!...Not Dan and Princess, but everyone else!" Superkella replied, infuriated.

Suddenly, the door got kicked in and smashed Superkella in the back of the skull. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she fell to the floor. Vomvom was standing in the doorway along with Hidan, Kandy Kid, Butterscotch, Dan, Princess and DoubleEi.

"We heard there was a bitch fight." Kandy Kid said excitedly.

"There was until you Superkella." IIC said flatly as she pointed at Superkella's body.

Everyone stared at her and Vomvom nudged her slightly, but she was out cold.

"Voooooooooomvoooooooooooom!" Princess moaned.

Dan crossed his arms and tried to look professional. He knelt down beside Superkella and lifted her head so her face was easy to reach. He then pulled her jaw open and put part of his arm inside. He then used his other arm to close Superkella's jaw and make him bleed. Superkella's eyes snapped open and Dan jumped away. She immediately began to cough and gag.

"The fuck did you guys make me drink!" She asked "It tastes like shit!"

Everyone except for Dan giggled.

"It was Giraffe-Man-Dan's blood." DoubleEi said.

Superkella stared at Dan. Dan shrugged, trying to look cool. Dan was hoping for some praise after he healed Superkella of his own free will.

"Well your blood is quite literally, the worst substance that I have ever had the displeasure to contaminate my mouth." Superkella said as she spat on the floor.

Dan thundered off to count all his money. Everyone else reilised there was nothing to do, so they all wandered off as well.

Indigo looked at Superkella. Superkella looked at Indigo.

"Vomvom needs to fix that door…" Indigo said.

Superkella smiled and nodded.

"This chapter was very anti climactic and has no plot whatsoever." She said pleasantly.

"I agree. The fact is that this chapter is just about us having a fight. In the end, the missing characters don't even return." Indigo added.


	29. Twentynineth Chapter Of Crap

One fine day in the FECOD, everyone was enjoying a nourishing breakfast of hot chips when suddenly, the door flew open. Nobody bothered to look up to see who was there.

"Yeah, hello. Extremely sexy man over here." A nasely, gay voice said.

Everyone knew who it was immediately. Dan instantly began to choke on his chip. After he had gained control over himself, he stood up and turned to Stan.

"What do you want?" Dan asked coldly.

Stan put his hand on his hip and admired his nails.

"If I do recall, I am a member of Group Team now." He said.

Dan glared at him. Princess stepped forward.

"Hi, Stan." He said.

Stan waved half heartedly.

"Our hideout's over here." Princess said as he headed for him and Vomvom's room.

Vomvom stood in front of the door defensively. She glared at Princess.

"He is not coming in our room." Vomvom said nastily.

Princess put a hand on her shoulder. Vomvom glanced at his hand, then back at Princess. She cleared her throat and Princess removed his hand.

"Vomvom…" Princess began "We need more members if we are to overthrow the French-English-Combo Of Doom, right?"

Vomvom looked at Dan then back at Princess.

"Yeah, but not _him._" She said.

"A member is a member." Princess said.

"He is not joining. Equal rulership, remember?"

"It was my idea, remember?"

"I practically did everything, remember?"

"We're married, remember?"

That made Vomvom pause for a moment as she thought of the video tape. And reading the certificate. She shivered.

"That is unrelated!" Vomvom said sharply.

"Woah, you two fight like a married couple." Stan stated.

"Hey, homo-boy. Shut the fuck up or I'll rip out your eyes and shove them down your pants so you can watch me kick the crap out of you, then I'll pull out your entestines and hang you with them. Then, I'll get Dan to heal you back to perfect health. Then, I'll take that gay ass of yours and throw it into a pit of acid, then, I'll- " Vomvom was cut off by Princess shoving her out of the doorway.

Princess quickly opened the door and let Stan in. Stan looked around in shock.

"This is your hideout?" He asked.

Butterscotch and Kandy Kid both came in as well.

"Isn't it awesome?" Princess asked.

"Nuh uh. It will not do for me. We need some designer stuff in here." Stan said.

All the little kids liked their hideout. The walls were bright green and said 'Group Team' in big yellow letters. There were bunk beds on either side of the room and on the spare wall, there was a box of barbies for Princess, a box of Kandy for Kandy Kid, 'bling' for Butterscotch and a punching bag for Vomvom.

Everyone sadly left Stan to remodel. Suddenly, there was another knock at the door. Everyone gathered around it and Dan pulled it open. Outside stood the evil Ethel along with Mr Llama and Quentin. Here is a quick bio of each preson:

Ethel:

Likes: Shipping everyone and anyone. Yaoi.

Dislikes: The FECOD. People who object to her shippings.

Relation: Dan and Princesses cousin.

Appearance: Brown hair, but recently dyed red. Usually seen in skanky clothes that are practically underwear.

Other: Attempts to flirt with any male in view range. Is violent and scary. Often stays at Dan and Princesses house for free things. Butchered Dan's story. Broke Dan's arm 4 times and broke Princesses leg twice.

Mr Llama:

Likes: Being annoying and llama-ish.

Dislikes: Probabally being called a llama.

Relation: Enemy of NZers

Appearance: Fat llama face, buck teeth, severe acne. Often wears whorey clothes. Hideous beyond belief.

Other: Is only boy who Ethel will not flirt with. Mother is llama. Father is hideous. Bad combonation.

Quentin:

Likes: Coming to Dan and Princesses room and breaking their things. Dan and Princesses mother (yes, in a pervy way), Ethel

Dislikes: Dan and Princess. Anything Dan and Princess like (Except for the female FECOD members. He pervs on them)

Relation: Dan and Princesses half brother as of last week.

Appearance: Slanty eyes, glasses, overbite, fugly braces, fat, black hair, mohawlk.

Other: Is the stupidest asian alive. Does not know 3 times tables. Is a closet pervert. Has told Dan he has a nice ass. Has slapped Ehtels ass. Has whistled at Dan and Princesses mother.

Pervs on: Ethel, Dan and Princesses mum, the maid, men who dress as women, anime girls, his own SISTER, Superkella, IIC, Vomvom, DoubleEi, any female.

Everyone stared at them.

"What do you fuckers want?" IIC asked.

"Nuffink." Quentin said angrily.

"Shut up!" Ethel ordered "We came here to tell you we have made out own group and we will destroy you sorry sons of bitches."

"Das royt, lozas." Quentin added.

"Yeeah. You goin down!" Mr Llama said.

At that, they all turned away and began to walk off.

"Aw man, they're way better than you guys!" Stan said as he shoved his way outside.

He chased after the trio of losers and begged to join them. They immediately said yes as they needed members.

And so the amazing rivalry of Ethels team and Dan's team begins!


	30. Thirteyth Chapter Of Crap

Everyone in the French-English-Combo Of Doom was having a little panic attack. Dan was pacing back and forward, trying to contemplate their options. Everyone else was arguing and hitting each other.

"Hey! Bomber Barbie!" Superkella yelled, trying to get Deidaras attention.

Deidara angrily turned to face her.

"What, un!" He demanded.

"Oh, nothing, just testing out my new nickname." Superkella chimed.

Suddenly, Superkella felt something on her back. She then felt it crawl up to her shoulder. She turned to see whatever it was. On her shoulder stood a small white clay spider. Superkella faced forward, her facial expression blank. Deidara didn't make it detonate straight away as he wanted to see Superkella's reaction. Superkella stood frozen for a second.

"OH MY SHIT! GET IT OFF!" She abruptly yelled as she began swatting at the spider.

"Katsu!" Deidara cried as he held two fingers in front of his face.

Superkella went flying through the air and smashed into the roof of the hideout. Luckily, Indigo used her small amount of intelligence to save her friend by catching her in a blob of ice.

Kandy Kid was eating his special supply of 'worry candy'. He was sitting on the couch, sucking on a large lollypop while he tapped his hand impatiently.

"Giraffe-Man-Dan! Got any ideas?" He asked.

Dan was still pacing, not saying anything or looking up from his shoes.

"No." Dan said.

"Well hurry up and think of something." He ordered.

"Why don't you think of something, you ass hole." Dan replied.

Just then, the stupidest member of the group had an idea.

"Hey, why don't we just, like, go and attack them?" Kandy Kid asked.

Everyone's jaws dropped. It was so basic, it was genius.

"French-English-Combo Of Doom!" Dan began.

Princess cleared his throat suggestively.

"….and… Group Team… We will attack Ethels association and take that bitch down!" Dan announced proudly.

Everyone broke into applause. Dan bowed even though it wasn't his idea.

"ATTACK!" Indigo cried as she summoned her ice dragon.

Everyone ran out of the hideout screaming their 'battle cries'.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Superkella cried as she ran forwards, waving her sword in front of her like a pickaxe.

"VOMVOM SMASH!" Vomvom cried as she rolled up her sleeves.

"DIE MOTHER FUCKERS!" Hidan bellowed as he readied his scythe.

"Eliminate!" Princess yelled.

In Ethel's teams hideout, they were plotting how to attack the FECOD. Ethel was, obviously , the leader. Through the period of time since they were introduced, they gained 2 more members. Clarkson and Sylvia.

Clarkson

Likes: Being a try hard. Rapping. Posing.

Dislikes: Dan, Princess, Dan's friends, Princesses friends, IIC (for some reason, he only hates her).

Relation: Kates ex.

Appearance: Blond curly hair, (sadly) kind of fit, wears clothes 3 sizes too big, needs to purchace belt.

Other: Has been fined and taken to police station for pushing over an old lady.

Sylvia

Likes: Hanging out with Katie, Trying to make out with any male. Even Princess.

Dislikes: Dan and Princess, Dans house, The Akatsuki, Naruto, Soul Eater, L.

Relation: Katies friend.

Appearance: Brown hair down to waist. Red singlet, Short shorts, large scar on left eye which ruins entire appearance.

Other: Has kiss-raped Dan, can't kiss for shit, has been bashed by Katie on countless occasions, was poor, but became rich. WILL NOT KISS MR LLAMA EVEN IF LIFE WAS ON LINE.

"We must crush them!" Ethel said evily.

"Yeah." Everyone agreed.

"But first…" Ethel continued "…WE MUST MAKE THEM ALL CONFESS THEIR UNDYING LOVE FOR EACH OTHER!" She cried as her eyes turned into love hearts.

Everyone stared at her.

"What?" Clarkson asked.

"Can you not tell!" Ethel asked "They clearly are all in love!"

"…If you ask me, they're just friends." Stan said.

"If you ask me, you aren't even a real person!" Ethel snapped.

Stan got shifty eyes for a moment, then returned back to normal.

"Ethel… They don't love each other…" Mr Llama began "I have known Indigo, Superkella, Vomvom, Kandy Kid, Butterscotch and DoubleEi before and I know the Akatsuki well enough to say that they would not fall in love."

Ethel turned away from them all.

"You are all idiots! You do not understand the human emotions! You will see!" She yelled dramatically.

"Damn girl, that ass is fine." Quientin whispered.

"What did you say about my ex?" Clarkson asked dangerously.

"That her ass is nice, dipshit." Quentin said.

"Ugh, how can you be attracted to women?" Stan asked.

Quentin was suddenly brutally attacked by Clarkson.

"Ethel, what should we do?" Sylvia asked.

"Let them fight." Ethel said.

Suddenly, the big heroic entry of the FECOD occoured. Well, it wasn't that heroic because they all fought their way in because the door was small.

"DIEEEEE!" They all yelled as they all began hacking and slashing at any member they could find.

Ethel and Sylvia watched them fight for a while before she held two fingers in front of her face.

"Jometu Suru." She whispered.

Suddenly, her and Sylvia disappeared in a puff of smoke. Everyone stopped what they were doing.

"THE HIDEOUT!" Kisame yelled.

All the FECOD abandoned their enemies and piled out of the hideout and ran back to their own, still screaming.

Ethel and Sylvia both appeared in the FECOD hideout.

"Perfect." Ethel whispered as she rubbed her hands together "Sylvia, ransack their rooms. I'll look around here."

Sylvia nodded and ran around the hideout, stealing anything of value. Ethel looked around the lounge and was just unplugging the TV when the entire platoon of FECOD members burst in. They all saw Ethel immediately.

"THE T.V!" Princess cried in shock.

"KILL HER!" DoubleEi yelled.

Everyone ran at Ethel.

"Jomentu Suru!" She cried quickly.

Suddenlt, her and Sylvia disappeared.

"GOD DAMN IT!" Superkella yelled as she stomped her foot.

"We'll get them next time." Dan assured.

"Why don't we get them now?" IIC asked.

"Me too tired." Dan mumbeled as he sat on the couch "I'll end the chapter now."

"Dan, don't you dare-" Vomvom began, but Dan already ended it.


	31. Thirtyfirst Chapter Of Crap

Re" Vomvom finished.

"DAMN IT, DAN!" Princess cried.

"Dan, that was pretty annoying." Zetsus black half said.

"Yeah, why can't we go and kill them now?" Zetsus white half added.

Dan stood up and headed for the door.

"We can now." He said blandly.

Everyone began screaming once more and headed back to Ethels teams hideout.

At Ethels teams hideout, everyone had just calmed down and regained order when the FECOD burst in once again… with troll faces… there was another epic battle and Dan made sure Ethle didn't get away. He punched her square in the nose. Suddenly, Dan looked over to his team. He saw Princess not daring to enter the fight and Quentin was trying to grope Vomvom. Princess saw this to.

"NOOOO!" He cried "HERE GROPE-VIRGINITY WILL BE GONE!"

Princess dove in front of Quentin and snapped his wrist in the process. Princess was the brother of Dan, so he naturally was a hero sometimes. Vomvom pretended she had never been saved and continued fighting. Sadly, Ethel saw. She didn't do anything except for raise her eyebrows, but that said it all. Dan frowned at her.

"Ethel… THEY'RE 13!" Dan cried "13 year olds are not into that shit! They would rather play Poke'mon!"

Ethel ignored him.

In the FECOD, everyone was buddies and buddies don't want other buddies to get hurt, so they save them. Sadly, idiots (*cough**cough* Ethel*cough*) mistake that for love. I know, it's stupid.

Dan and Ethel were both arguing about what 13 year olds do in their spare time and Superkella was fighting Stan, Clarkson and Sylvia. Sadly, Clarkson is slightly better than the average ninja, so Superkella was kind of fighting a losing battle. Everyone who wasn't fighting just watched her get beaten up.

"Someone should help her, un!" Deidara cried sarcastically.

He was still mad about the bomber Barbie thing.

"Dan, you're closest!" Vomvom yelled as she kicked Quentin in the jaw.

Dan sighed and went behind Clarkson and him. Superkella nodded at him thankfully and took on the other 2 by herself.

Indigo had made a tower of ice and was balancing on top while Mr Llama attempted to attack her from below.

"GET AWAY, LLAMA BOY!" She cried.

"I've gotta kill ya!" He replied.

"Fuck off!" She yelled "HIDAN! This guy said Jashin sucks balls!"

Hidan turned to Mr Llama with a dangerous expression.

"JASHIN-SAMA WILL APPRECIATE YOUR DEATH!" He yelled as he chased Mr Llama, waving his scythe wildly.

Indigo smiled and jumped down from her ice podium.

Suddenly, Ethel managed to make everyone stop fighting.

"I have an announcement!" She declared.

"I am really a man!" Kandy Kid added in a voice that sounded like Ethel.

Everyone in the French-English-Combo Of Doom laughed. Ethel glared at them.

"No. My announcement is that I know why the FECOD was really formed!" She shouted.

"So do we." Butterscotch said.

"To protect the world from devastation!" All the girls from the FECOD cried in unison.

"To unite all peoples within our nation!" The boys from the FECOD cried in unison.

"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"French!"

"English!"

"FECOD blast off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

"We're retards, that's right!" Kandy Kid added at the end meowth style.

Everyone stared.

"…No… You created it so you could all lead secret love lives together!" Ethel yelled.

"The fuck?" Vomvom asked.

"Superkella and Dan! Indigo and Hidan! Vomvom and Princess! DoubleEi and Kandy Kid! It's all there, you just need to admit it!" Ethel said as she pointed to each person.

In unison, everyone who was paired up jumped away from each other and cried 'ewwwww!'

Ethel laughed evilly.

"You are to immature to know your own emotions!" She laughed.

"We…we're going to go now…" Dan said.

At that, everyone slowly went back to the hideout and sat down.

"Well that was disturbing." Itachi said bluntly.

"Yeah… How could I like Kandy Kid? He's my friends 13 year old brother!" DoubleEi cried distainfully.

"What was she talking about?" kandy Kid asked as he picked his nose.

"Yeah, well I'm stuck with Mr psyco over here!" Indigo yelled as she pointed to Hidan.

"Hey, fuck you, bitch. I'm not happy either." Hidan snapped.

"No fair! Why did Vomvom get the gender challenged one!" Vomvom whined as if they were all toys.

"I am not gender challenged! I am FEMMININE!" Princess moped.

"…Dan…" Was all Superkella could say "…Dan…DAN…_DAN…__**DAN!"**_

"…SuperDan… That sounds pretty cool." Dan said to himself "NOT THE SHIP!" He quickly yelled.

Back at Ethels hideout, they were still plotting.

"It will only be a matter of time before they realise their feelings for each other." Ethel said evilly.

"Can we get medical attention?" Clarkson asked.

"No! You are all fine!" Ethel snapped.

"y aw ig okeng opp." Quentin said, his jaw hanging on by some muscle, nothing else.


	32. Thirtysecond Chapter Of Crap

It was a beautiful day in the FECOD, but nobody was enjoying it. Everyone who got shipped together was avoiding each other and screaming whenever they touched. This went on until, finally, Dan could take no more.

"I hereby call a meeting to order!" He announced "And Group Team has to come because it concerns us all!"

Dan walked over to the big golden chair to see the seating was all wrong. Usually, the seating order was Butterscotch, DoubleEi, Kandy Kid, Dan, IIC, Superkella, Vomvom, Princess. But now, it was Superkella, IIC, Vomvom, Kandy Kid, Butterscotch, Princess, DoubleEi, Dan.

"This is all wrong!" Dan yelled "Get back to your seats!"

"No. I like it here." IIC said defensively.

"But I need to sit in the middle!" Dan cried.

"Ok." Kandy Kid said "Everyone move down."

"NO! TOO CLOSE! TOO CLOSE! WAAAAY TOO CLOSE!" Superkella cried as she curled up into a little ball.

Dan face palmed.

"I'm surrounded by a bunch of immature idiots." He mumbled.

He then looked at them all and started his lecture.

"Why are you listening to ethel?" He asked.

"Because-" Vomvom began.

"Rhetorical question, Vomvom." Dan interrupted before continuing "You have never listened to her before, why start now? She is deranged! A lunatic! Don't listen to people like her! A dead rat could give you better information!"

Everyone thought about this. They were still creeped out by each other. Suddenly, Hidan started coming towards IIC. He was making kissing sounds and his arms were outstretched.

"C'mere _baby!"_ He cried.

IIC screamed in pure horror and ran away, knocking over her chair. Hidan ran after her.

"Gimmie a kiss!" He yelled.

Hidan was only doing this because he knew it scared IIC more than anything on this planet. Everyone watched them for awhile, but eventually got bored. Superkella pulled out her sword and aimed it at Dan.

"Back." She ordered.  
>Dan looked at the sword, the at Superkellas face. She wasn't joking around. Dan took a few steps back.<p>

Princess strode over to Vomvom and sat on her lap. Vomvom screamed and punched him in the face, then hurled him away. Princess picked himself up off the floor and glared at Vomvom.

"What ever happened to 'for better or for worse'!" He demanded.

"What ever happened to 'Vomvom was wasted'!" Vomvom replied.

Princess stopped. She had a point.

In Ethels Teams hideout, they were compromising a name.

"What about team ethel?" Sylvia asked.

"Nah, too mary sue." Ethel replied.

"Team Ethel-is-a-sakanky-bitch-who-shouldn't-have-dumped-Clarkson?" Clarkson asked.

"Fuck you!" Ethel replied.

"Team Llamas-are-awesome?" Mr Llama asked.

"Fuck no." Ethel replied.

"…Team we-hate-the-French-English-Combo-Of-Doom?" Stan asked.

Ethel slowly turned to face him.

"IT'S PERFECT!" She cried dramatically.

Everyone cheered. Stan smiled and went outside to engrave it above their door.

Back in the FECOD hideout, Superkella had resorted to using Itachi to keep Dan away and Vomvom had resorted to using Kisame. IIC was on top of her ice dragon and Hidan was hacking away at it with his scythe. DoubleEi, Butterscotch and Kandy Kid didn't get bothered by the whole 'ship' thing, so they all sat down and watched T.V together.

"WE SHALL RESOLVE THIS DILEMMA IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!" Dan bellowed.

Dan was trying to avoid being ammateratsu'd by Itachi. Princess was trying to avoid being smashed by Kisame, and IIC was trying to avoid Hidan.

"NO!" IIC and Princess yelled.

"Yup, sorry guys. I'm tired and need some sleep." Dan shrugged.

"AMMATERATSU!" Itachi yelled.

"OH MY FUCK!" Dan cried "FIRE! FIRE! THAT SHIT BURNS!"

Dan stopped dropped and rolled, but that just spread the flames.

"FUCKING SHIT DICKS BASTARDS! ASS HOLES OF MOTHER FUCKING CUNT WHORE BITCHES IN FUCKING HELL WITH STUPID FUCKER JESUS GET IT OFF!" Dan wailed.

"Can't." Itachi said.

Dan stopped moving for a moment.

"…Well fuck." He said before he continued screaming and rolling around.


	33. Thirtythird Chapter Of Crap

It was a normal day in the FECOD hideout. Group Team were all playing twister and Superkella and Indigo 'reluctantly' joined. Dan was banned from playing because 'A giraffe would have an unfair advantage'. So he was the person who spun the needle.

"Right foot red." He said in a bored tone.

"Move it Princess!" Vomvom boomed as she kicked Princess in the back to make room for herself.

"Haha! Princess is out!" Superkella laughed.

"Shut up, Superkella." Princess mumbled as he rubbed his spine.

"Come over here and make me, chibi-chan!" Superkella taunted.

Princess glared at her, but did nothing. He was the shortest out of everyone after all. Princess picked himself up off the floor and sat next to his brother.

"Left hand green." Dan said bluntly.

"Asshole!" Vomvom yelled as she toppled to the floor.

Indigo stuck her tongue out at her in reply. Vomvom got up and sat next to Princess. She was not happy.

"Left foot yellow."

"Hey, Kandy, look over there! It's a lollypop!" Superkella yelled enthusiastically.

Kandy Kid instantly quit and sprinted to where Superkella had gestured. He began frantically searching. Indigo and Superkella both glared at each other.

"It's on." Superkella said challangly.

"It's on like bread on butter." Indigo echoed.

"Hurry up and call it, Dan!"

"…Left foot green."

A challenge had erupted. Indigo 'accidentally' froze her arms and legs in place.

"Cheating bitch!" Superkella yelled.

Superkella and Indigo both managed to get their hand on a dot.

"Left foot red."

"Whoops." Superkella said sarcastically as she pressed her hand into Indigo's face for support.

"Fmmm nuu!" Indigo said, muffled.

"Woah! Language!" Princess yelled.

Suddenly, Indigo fell down.

Everyone stared at her. Superkella was the winner. Indigo mumbled something about not caring about the game anyway and wandered off.

Group Team were all planning on having a movie night together. They had all set our sleeping bags and had food and drinks in the lounge in front of the T.V. Vomvom was in charge of picking out a movie.

"Vomvom couldn't decide between Godzilla, Mega Shark VS Crocasarus, The Terminator and The Grudge." She said as she held up 4 DVD's.

"Those movies are all bullshit!" Dan protested from in the kitchen.

"Ok then, tough guy. Come and watch the grudge with us!" Princess challenged.

"Where's the fun in sitting with three little kids all night?"

"OOH! CHICKEN! CHICKEN!" Princess yelled.

Dan thundered into the room and lifted Princess off of the floor with ease.

"Say that again and I'll break your neck." Dan threatened coldly.

"Break his neck! Break his neck!" Kandy Kid chanted.

"Watch the movie with us then." Princess replied.

Dan dropped Princess and turned around dramatically.

"Alright, fine. I will entertain you children." Dan said formally.

Dan's whole dramatic effect was ruined by Vomvom kicking him between the legs.

"Vomvom isn't a child." She growled.

That night, Dan dragged himself to the lounge and sat on the couch while the three members of Group Team sat on the floor.

"These special effects are terrible! Blood doesn't do that!" Princess complained.

"I don't get why this scares people. It's haunting them, not you." Vomvom said bluntly.

"I don't get it." Kandy Kid said as he scratched his head.

"AAAHHHHHHHH! OHMYGOD I SAW HER! WAAAAAAH! DON'T GO IN THERE! DON'T GO IN THERE!...AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Dan then burst into tears.

"Shut up!" Vomvom yelled as she punched Dan's shin.

"Oh no no no no! Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it, Fuck it." Dan chanted quietly as he buried his face in his hands.

Suddenly, a kunai knife went flying right by Dan's ear and imbedded itself into the wall. Dan made a face like this O_O

"Shut up, Dan. We're trying to sleep." Itachi said in a flat tone.

Dan gulped.

"Y-yes, Itachi…" He stuttered.

"Stupid little kids." Kisame added as they headed back for their room.

"DAN! THE GRUDGE! IT'S BEHIND YOU!" Kandy Kid screeched as he jumped into his sleeping bag.

The rest of Group Team did the same. Dan let out a blood curdling scream and whipped around. He saw 2 yellow eyes almost toughing his own. Dan screamed even louder.

"People are always scared of us." Zetsu's white half complained.

"This bastard's scared of everything." Zetsu's black half added.

Dan stopped screaming and stared at the plant man who was in him PJ's.

"Oh, hi Zetsu." Dan greeted in a desperate act to gain his pride.

Behind him, Group Team were all laughing hysterically and Superkella and Indigo were from their room as well. Upstairs, even a fain giggle could be heard coming from Pein and Konan's study. Dan made some kind of embarrassed grunt and sprinted off to his room and slammed the door. Group Team all finished their movie and fell asleep. Dan stayed in his room for three days before he decided he had enough manliness to leave.

"Alright." Dan said as he stared at his door handle. "Comes up. Lets do this!"

Dan yanked the door open and sprinted down the hallway.

"LEROOOOOOOY! JENKIIIIIIIINS!" He bellowed.

"Shut up!" Superkella snapped as she hit Dan with the blunt part of her sword.

Dan burst into tears and threw a tantrum. He only stopped when a new game was invented: Jump on the giraffe. Dan still insisted he was the manliest out of every manly man who ever lived. That was a lie.


	34. Thirtyfourth Chapter Of Harreh Pottah

**~ The FECOD and The Mysterious Ticking Noise ~**

A mysterious ticking noise echoed throughout the FECOD hideout. Dan emerged into the lounge and frowned in confusion.

"Hmm. What is that mysterious ticking noise?" He asked himself. "It's not over here. It's not over there…It's kind of… catchy."

Dan slowly began swaying back and forwards.

"Dan, Dan, Dan The French Man, Dan, Dan, Dan The French Man." He chanted.

"Kandy Kid!" Kandy Kid yelled enthusiastically.

Dan and Kandy Kid repeated singing a few times before they were joined by others.

"Hime, Hime, Hime-Princess-Chan, Hime, Hime, Hime-Princess-Chan." Princess chanted along with the others.

"IIC. IIC…IIC, IIC, IIC." Indigo joined in.

Superkella then jumped in with some epic and rather painful looking dance moves.

"Superkella! Superkella! Ooh! Superkella! Superkella! Yeah! Superkella! Superkella! Ooh! Superkella! Superkella! That's me!" She yelled.

"Dan!" Dan cried.

"Me!" Superkella replied.

"Dan!"

"Me!"

"Dan!"

"Me!"

"Dan!"

"Me!"

"Dan!"

"ME!  
>"DAN!"<p>

"ME!  
>"Kandy Kid!" Kandy Kid jumped in between the two idiotically.<p>

Indigo glided past in the background.

"Iiiiindigo Ice Cream." She sang.

Everyone sung in unison together happily.

"Singing a song! All day long in paaaaaaaaaariiiis!" The bellowed.

Suddenly, Vomvom burst in. She was mad.

"Why wasn't Vomvom invited!? Vomvom smash!" She yelled.

Team Akuma all yelled 'yaaaaay' and Dan and Princess shot each other worried glances. At that moment, Katie burst in with a stick of dynamite and blew everyone into smithereens. All aside from Vomvom who lived by using Dan as a shield. She emerged from the rubble and cackled evilly. She tapped on a table and chanted her own song.

"Vomvom, Vomvom, Ooh Vomvom, Vomvom, VOMVOM!" She sung.

At that Vomvom left to ransack everyone's rooms.

**A/N: **Well that was bad. Dan = Snape Kandy Kid = Dumbledore Princess = Ron IIC = Hermione Superkella = Harry Potter Vomvom = Ron and Voldemort Katie = The nobody she is


	35. Thirtyfith Chapter Of Crap

"Dan!" Superkella snapped.

"Whaaaat?" Dan droned.

Dan was enjoying a peaceful sleep in his silky pyjamas and nightcap when he was rudely interrupted by Superkella and her bossiness.

"You're gay!" Superkella replied.

Dan moaned loudly and tried to sleep again. That was hard to do with Group Team next door. Vomvom decided to punch the wall over and over making sawdust and other ungodly things stored in the walls crumble down onto Dan.

"Dan, Il est temps de se réveiller!" Princess cried.

"Tais-toi et le viol Vomvom un peu plus." Dan grumbled in reply.

"What? I heard my name. What?" Vomvom said in confusion.

"Dan you sikko!" Princess cried femininely.

"What! What did he say!?" Vomvom growled.

"He wants to rape you!" Princess said in disgust.

"Lies!" Dan yelled.

Vomvom burst through the wall with her head. She was on the top bunk and Dan was in a one person bed so it gave him quite the shock when a head exploded out of the wall. Vomvom glared at him and gritted her teeth threateningly.

"Who the fuck would rape you?" Dan said anxiously.

"What the hell are you implying?" Vomvom asked dangerously.

"Ooh! He said you're ugly Vomvom! Kill him! KILL HIM!" Princess encouraged.

"No! No! You're not ugly! You're just violent!" Dan insisted.

Vomvom narrowed her eyes and slowly pulled her head through the wall again. Dan sighed in relief and decided to get up. He walked into the kitchen and saw Superkella and IIC baking together.

"Now we pour the mixture into the round cake tin." Superkella said as she tipped some yellow sludge from a bowl.

Sadly, the cake mix all began oozing out the sides of the tin. Superkella gasped loudly and picked the tin up.

"Oh nooo!" She said in worry. "Get the sponge!"

Indigo threw the sponge at Superkella's face and they both hurried to save their beloved cake. Dan walked off into the lounge and saw Kandy Kid sitting on the couch watching Wakfu. He had a vacant expression on his face. Dan sat next to him and watched it with him. After 10 minutes of sitting in silence, Kandy Kid turned to face him slowly.

"What the fuck is going on?" He asked.

Dan laughed and patted Kandy Kid on the back. Suddenly, Dan's face fell serious and he turned back to the TV.

"I have no idea." He admitted.

Eventually, everyone gathered in the lounge. Superkella was in charge of the remote. She flipped through the channels until she saw an Ano Hana marathon was on. It was all the episodes from beginning to end and it had just started.

"I don't get what the hype is about this." Superkella said bluntly.

"Me either." Indigo agreed.

"What would happen if he punched her? She's like a ghost but she can still touch stuff…" Vomvom wondered out loud.

"I heard this anime makes you cry." Princess announced.

All of the FECOD stood up and raised their fists.

"Challenge accepted!" They bellowed.

At the end of the final episode, everyone was sitting there engrossed in the anime. Princess was the first one to cry. He wiped his tears away on his pink frilly dress but the damage was done. Dan cried next. He tried to be strong but tears rolled down his face. Superkella kept her eyes on the screen but managed to pull out her camera and snap a photo of him. Indigo and Superkella both cried next but they hardly cried. They stopped crying when Dan tried to act manly and comfort them. They both slid to the other end of the couch and gave him weird looks. Kandy Kid stared at the screen in confusion. He got lost at about episode 3. Vomvom was following the plot but wasn't affected at all.

"The bitch is already dead. I thought they moved on." She said in boredom.

"She's dead!?" Kandy Kid said in shock.

"That's what it's about, idiot." Indigo said.

"Ooh." Kandy kid replied.

They all finished Ano Hana and sat there in silence for a bit. Vomvom snatched the remote and changed it to Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni. She managed to get a particularly violent episode and leaned forward enthusiastically.

"What the fuck is going on?" Indigo asked. "We're halfway through the episode."

"Plot isn't important. Look at all that blood!" Vomvom replied.

Princess took the remote off of Vomvom to switch it to something more appropriate. The my little pony theme song echoed throughout the apartment. Dan took the remote off of him in a hurry and changed it to Hellsing. Indigo then snatched the remote off of him and switched to Naruto. Kandy Kid stole the remote and changed it to Mr Bean. Everyone was happy with that.


	36. Thirtysixth Chapter Of Crap

Everyone in the FECOD was enjoying their day as normal when they were confronted by the 6 Peins and Konan. The 7 of them stood in front of the FECOD defiantly.

"You guys are in front of the TV!" Indigo moaned.

"We need to talk to you guys." Pein said seriously.

"Alright then. Talk to us, Nagato." Superkella said lazily

"My name is _Pein _and we wanted to talk about the living arrangements here."

"What about them?" Kandy asked.

"We think they would be better without you in them." Pein replied.

There was a long pause as the FECOD tried to decipher what they were implying.

"…So… are we getting new rooms?" Dan asked in confusion.

"No you blithering idiots. We're kicking you out." Pein snapped.

All of the FECOD loudly protested against this.

"But the Akatsuki like us!" Vomvom yelled.

"We haven't been in this fucking fanfiction for at least 10 chapters!" Kisame yelled from another room.

"Shut up fish face!" Vomvom replied.

The Akatsuki all came into the front room and stared at the FECOD.

"Sorry but this organization would do better without you in it." Itachi shrugged.

"Yeah, un. You guys just do stupid shit all day! You don't even act like ninjas!" Deidara added.

"But…" Dan began.

"No. Get out." Pein cut him off.

"Can we at least get our stuff?" Indigo asked.

"No. It's ours now." Pein replied bluntly.

The Akatsuki pushed them towards the door. Dan dramatically turned around to make a final speech.

"Well we don't need you anyway! We are the FECOD! We don't need anybody's help!" He cried.

"That's nice." Zetsu's black half said impassively.

The Akatsuki then slammed the door on them and left them all standing on the river.

"…Now what?" Vomvom asked.

"We need to find a new hideout." Superkella announced.

The FECOD all scanned the area visually for a bit. Kandy Kid pointed to a big cave.  
>"What about that?" He asked hopefully.<p>

"No Kandy. That's the Akatsuki's hideout." Princess said.

"Oh."

Dan pointed towards the sun set dramatically.

"We should head that way!" He cried.

"Why?" Superkella asked, unimpressed.

"It's the north star." Dan replied.

"It's the fucking SUN you dumbass!"

"Well whatever. I'm going that way."

"Well we're going this way." Superkella pointed left of where Dan was pointing. "We're going South."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Superkella turned South and began heading that way. The rest of Team Akuma followed in suit. Dan grumbled something about his undeniable sense of direction and began walking towards the sun.

"Come on, Princess." He ordered.

Princess stood in the same spot for a few seconds. Team Akuma disappeared into the forest and Princess watched them go.

"B…But I want to go North…" He whimpered.

"Why the hell do you want to go north?" Dan demanded.

"You wanted to go north in the first place!"

"But we're going East now!"

"That's west."

"That's what I meant to say!"

Princess turned north and began walking. Dan turned west and walked away as well.

Team Akuma were all thundering through the forest destroying things in their path when they encountered a familiar hideout. The boulder-door moved aside and Katie stood in the entrance.

"…What are you guys doing here?" She asked, folding her arms.

"Yeah!" Clarkson yelled from behind her.

"Shut the fuck up!" Katie snapped.

"Sorry."

"We're going to find a new hideout." Indigo announced.

"Where's dumb and dumber?"

"Probably dead by now." Superkella replied.

"Good." A sinister smile spread across Katie's face.

From inside the WHTECOD hideout, all the other members were curiously on looking the situation. Stan happened to see Team Akuma and instantly burst into gay sounding protest.

"Awww guurl! Them pants DO NOT go with that shirt! What the hell were you thinking putting that on!?" He cried.

Everyone turned to face him to see who he was addressing. Stan was staring directly at Vomvom with an eyebrow raised. Vomvom narrowed her eyes and cracked her knuckles.

"Shut the hell up." She whispered dangerously.

Stan smirked and poked his tongue out.

"You. Have. No. Fashion. Sense." He said slowly.

Vomvom let out a cry of anger and spear tackled Dan's non-evil twin to the ground. Stan's neck bent onto a 72 degree angle and made a loud snapping sound. Vomvom dropped Stan and wiped her hands off on her shirt. She then joined the rest of Team Akuma as if nothing had happened. Katie was glaring at her and looked ready to attack them all.

"What? He was a douche." Vomvom said defensively.

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to get members for this fucking group! I don't need you fuckwits killing them! Now piss off!" Katie growled as she slammed the boulder-door in their faces.

Team Akuma shrugged and walked on ahead.

_Meanwhile_

Dan moaned as his stomach growled. He clutched his torso and rested against a tree. He groaned loudly and dramatically and acted as if he were on his death bed.

"Oh cruel fate! Why must an insanely sexy man like me lay to waste! Why could I not be provided with some nourishment to soothe my hunger!" He cried melodramatically.

Dan then spotted a bush ripe with bright red berries. He gasped in delight and crawled over to the bush. He squeezed one of the many berries and red juice oozed from it. He grinned and ate as many as he could. No less than 2 minutes later, Dan's stomach felt even worse and he was in actual pain. He cried loudly and curled up into a ball. He still managed to make a dramatic speech.

"Damn those motherfucking inception berries!" He screamed. "They fucking poisoned me!"

Dan coughed and moaned loudly. He punched the ground and rolled back and forth while screaming. Dan glanced up at the sun as it disappeared over the horizon.

"What? NOOO! THE NORTH STAR IS GOOOONE!" He cried.

Dan threw a tantrum and screamed as loud as he could.

_Meanwhile, thousands of inches away_

Princess pulled his compass out from his back pocket and looked around. He observed his surroundings and continued North. In the distance, he could hear Dan howling about something. As Princess was walking, he tripped on the root of a tree. He fell over and put his hands out in front of him. He stood up and examined himself for injury.

"Oh no!" He cried in horror. "I broke a nail!"

Princess fell to his knees and yelled out 'no' loudly. He then curled up into a little ball of useless and rocked back and forth.

**A/N: **Ta da! This arc was written by Katie! Woo hoo! It will be continued by Chibi-Princess-Hime-Chan, Then Dan-Dan-The-Giraffe-Man-Who-Kidnaps-Girls-In-His-Pedo-Van.


	37. Thirtyseventh Chapter Of Crap

Princess looked up at the night sky. He abruptly felt overcome by drowsiness and yawned. He closed his eyes and began softly snoring. Princess was making his way to the country of Rice. He heard there was a criminal organisation there that he could join. Princess didn't know of the horrors that awaited him but quite frankly, he couldn't care less.

_Meanwhile_

Dan threw up once again and shivered. He had a horrible case of food poisoning from the berries he ate. He moaned loudly and lay on his back. Dan didn't know where he was going but he didn't care. He knew that a sexy man like him would be picked up by some hot ninja girls who would help him. He smiled to himself at the thought of how popular he would be in whatever village he arrived in. Luckily for Dan, his wish came true… sort of.

"Hey, are you alright?" A gruff voice asked.

Dan looked up to see a big burly man looking down at him. Dan stared at him vacantly and shook his head. The man picked Dan up and began walking.

"I'm Sanji by the way." The man said.

"I'm Dan." Dan replied.

"Dan? That's not very Japanese. Where're you from?"

"France."

"Eh? I've never heard of that Village…"

"It's a country."

"I still haven't heard of it."  
>After walking all night, Sanji and Dan arrived at Sanji's home village. Dan was taken to the hospital and treated for his food poisoning. He emerged an hour later as his usual cocky self.<p>

"Alright! Where am I?" He asked enthusiastically.

"We're from the hidden star village." A man replied.

Dan froze. He had heard stories about this village. It was inescapable because of toxic gas and was one of the lamest villages ever.

"Wha… NOOOOOOO!" Dan screamed.

Dan fell to his knees and began yanking at his hair.

_Meanwhile_

Team Akuma all triumphantly walked through the forest. Superkella was bravely leading them and cutting down anything that stood in their way with her razor sharp sword. After walking for several hours, Indigo popped the question.

"So where are we going?" She asked casually.

"Where? Oh, well, umm… South." Superkella replied.

"Don't you have a backup hideout?"

"That was group team's hideout and we got kicked out of there too."

"…So you have no idea where we're going…"

"No. We're going to Konoha."

"Why?" Kandy asked.

Superkella turned to face him and pulled a 'don't you know' face.

"The ramen." She stated as if it were obvious.

"Woo! Ramen! Ramen! Ramen!" Vomvom chanted.

It didn't take long for the rest of Team Akuma to join in as the forced their way through the forest.

"Besides, Konoha is, like, the ninja capital. Once we get there, we can go anywhere." Superkella explained.

"Even Disneyland?" Kandy asked hopefully.

"No. Not there."

"We should go and work for Orochimaru." Indigo laughed.

A serious expression fell over Superkella's face. She stared at Indigo bluntly.

"No." She said.

"I was joking." Indigo pointed out.

"Good. Orochimaru's creepy."

Team Akuma all agreed on Orochimaru's creepiness and continued walking.

_Meanwhile_

Princess awoke the next morning and continued North to Orochimaru's hideout. He didn't know who Orochimaru was yet, though. He assumed whoever was in the country of rice would love to have an ex-akatsuki member in their group. He strutted through the forest proudly, assuming his plan was better than the others. Princess's stomach rumbled. He looked around for some food. He saw a bush covered in bright red berries. He narrowed his eyes and made sure to avoid them at all costs. Instead, he decided to catch some food. He snapped a tree branch off of a tree (:O) and used the twine he had in his weapons pocket to tie a knot around it. He then tied the twine around a tree trunk. He paused for a second. It was at this exact moment that Princess reilised he had no idea what he was doing. He abandoned his trap and pulled a kunai knife out from his pocket and waited for an unsuspecting animal to approach. Sadly, no animals would appear. Princess decided he could go without food for a while and continued heading north.

_Meanwhile_

Dan sobbed and lay on his back. When he finally looked up, he saw a lot of people glaring at him. He sat up and glared back.  
>"What?" He asked angrily.<p>

"Are you familiar with Team Akuma?" A woman asked.

Based on the look of disgust and hatred that everyone had when Team Akuma was mentioned, any normal people would figure out not to say you knew them. However, we are talking about Dan.

"Yeah!" He said happily. "They joined my group!... Why are you all looking at me like that?"

"Kill him! He'll destroy our village as well!" A man yelled.

Dan was suddenly stampeded by an entire village of angry ninja. Luckily, Dan's giraffe legs made him a lot faster. What one man could do in three strides, he could do in one. Dan ran as fast as he could with the village close on his tail.

**A/N: **Written by Chibi-Princess-Hime-Chan (who is very sorry) and will be continued by Dan-Dan-Giraffe-Man-Who-Got-Smashed-By-The-Kidnapped-Girls-In-His-Pedo-Van and then Ethel-Katie-Bitch-Face.


	38. ThirtyEighth Chapter Of Crap

It was a beautiful, sunny day in the FECOD hideout. Superkella and IIC were both sitting on the couch eating a bag of chips and discussing different kinds of fried rice when Kandy Kid suddenly ran past them in what they first thought was a red dress. He skidded to a halt in front of them and raised his arms above his head triumphantly.

"Look at me! I'm Dan!" He cried.

It was then that Superkella and IIC realised that he was in fact wearing one of Dan's polo shirts. Kandy Kid then ran off laughing.

"What the hell?" IIC asked after a pause.

Vomvom then stumbled in wearing a pair of jeans that was fat to big for her. She was holding them around her waist with her hands and her feet were where the knees were meant to be. She was constantly tripping over but she didn't seem to be hurt by it.

"Do I look like a giraffe?" She asked, stopping in the doorway.

"Yes. Yes you do." Superkella replied monotonically.

"Yay!" Vomvom said happily as she turned and waddled away.

There was silence for a bit followed by Dan screaming in both rage and horror and the sound of him stomping into Group Team's 'hideout'. There was a lot of yelling (mainly Princess screaming hysterically) and smashing of things when suddenly, Vomvom's voice rose above the rest.

"VOMVOM ANGRY! VOMVOM SMASH!" She hollered.

This catchphrase was followed by what sounded like Dan being swung into a desk. There was more yelling and breaking things before Dan finally thundered out of the room holding his shirt and pants. Superkella knew it was her duty as the leader to assess the damage to see how much money she needed to steal from Dan to cover it. She groaned loudly.

"That sounded interesting." Indigo said as she craned her neck to look down the hallway.

"Help me up?" Superkella asked as she held her arms out in front of her.

IIC tried to force herself up but fell back onto the couch. She then simply made an ice version of herself help Superkella up. Ice IIC then helped real IIC up.

"Thanks." Indigo said to her ice creation. "Now go and play in the sun."

The ice person nodded and ran outside.

"Won't that melt it?" Superkella asked as the two of them walked down the hall.

"Yeah but they don't know that. It's the only way to get rid of them."

Superkella and IIC both peered into Group Team's room. It was surprisingly clean minus the broken window, bed that was snapped in half and giant mountain under the carpet.

"Hello." Princess waved as he tried to repair his bed.

"What the hell happened?" IIC asked.

Kandy Kid wandered over to her and smiled. He then began to explain.

"Dan came in and… uh… wanted his stuff back…" He began.

"And we said no." Vomvom added.

"Yeah, we said no… so… uhh… he got, like, mad… and… uh.. we got into a fight… and Vomvom smashed the bed in half with Dan's face… and so we hid all the broken stuff under the carpet."

"Aww, that sounds fun." Indigo said in disappointment.

She punched Kandy Kid in the head. "Why didn't you invite me?"

"Ow!" Kandy Kid stumbled backwards, clutching his head.

He then tripped over Vomvom's leg and fell onto the pile of junk hidden under the carpet.

"What the hell was that for?! We don't plan fights or something!" He growled.

"You still could've invited us." Indigo said in an 'I'm older than you, thus I'm right' sort of way.

Superkella tugged on IIC's arm lightly. Indigo turned to face her.

"Yeah?" She asked.

"C'mon, we need to see Dan." She said in a tone which clearly stated she did not want to do so.

The two of them lazily made their way up the stairs to Dan's room.

Superkella kicked the door in while she loudly yelled 'HIYAH!'. Dan screamed in shock and threw whatever was in his hand under his bed. Superkella wandered over to him and began talking while IIC stole his wallet. Dan, being an idiot, had made Indigo's job too easy this time by leaving his wallet on his dresser which he and Superkella had their backs to. Indigo rolled her eyes and took the wallet. Superkella was still taking to Dan about something that clearly peaked his interest. Indigo knew that Superkella thought her job would take longer and they couldn't act to suspicious by suddenly ending the conversation or else Dan would notice. IIC then had an idea. She got down on all fours and began looking around under his bed. There was a couple of old French magazines, video game cases and various other rubbish. Indigo looked around more intently until she saw what Dan must've had in his hand. It was the only thing without a thick layer of dust on it. She managed to grab it and felt a sharp pain in her finger.

"Ow!" She yelped, trying to keep her voice down.

She popped her finger into her mouth for a second and then went to grab it again, being more careful this time. She pulled the sharp thing out from under the bed and saw it was actually a little soft toy. It had buttons for eyes and an angry face permanently sewed onto it's face. It had brown hair and was full of pins. Also, across its chest in black ink was the word 'Vomvom'. Indigo stared at it in confusion and raised an eyebrow.

"Ok, cool, thanks, Dan." Superkella said. "Lets go, Indigo."

Indigo jumped to her feet and hid the doll in her hand. She and Superkella both left the room in a hurry. They then both returned to the couch. Indigo threw the wallet on the table. Superkella began sifting through the money inside and smiled.

"What were you talking to Dan about?" Indigo asked.

"How he keeps his hair so nice." Superkella shrugged. "He seemed distracted enough."

"Yeah. Oh, look what I found." She said as she handed the doll to Superkella.

"…A voodoo doll?" She asked as she held it by the foot. "What the fuck?"

"He's weird."

They both shrugged it off and threw the doll to one side. They both watched TV together and their day continued as normal.

* * *

><p>After about 2 hours of uneventful boringness, Princess came to tell Superkella and IIC an announcement. He had a book in his hand so the prepared themselves to be bored.<p>

"Hey guys, guess what!" He said excitedly.

"You're a girl?" Indigo guessed.

"You bought me chips." Superkella guessed.

"No." Princess scowled. "There's going to be a comet tonight."

"Ooh, _fun._" The two of them said sarcastically.

"I know, right!" He squealed. "Group Team's all going to watch it outside. You can come if you want."

"Meh. Maybe." Superkella shrugged.

"Ok then." Princess waved and skipped back into Group Team's room.  
>Indigo rolled her head to face Superkella.<p>

"You going to see the comet?" She asked.

"Fuck no I'm not." Superkella replied as she made herself more comfortable.

"Me either." Indigo replied.

Vomvom then thundered out of the room and was about to punch Superkella in the head as hard as she could but decided against it and punched the wall instead.

"WHY'D YOU TELL PRINCESS TO TAKE US TO SEE THE STUPID STAR THING!?" She demanded.

"It's a comet." Superkella corrected.

"And we didn't." Indigo added.

"He said you did!" Vomvom yelled, balling her fists.

"He's a liar." Indigo replied.

"Yeah, like that time they LIED ABOUT SOME PHOTOS!" Superkella yelled so that Dan and Princess could hear.

"We said sorry!" Dan called from his room.

"It was Dan!" Princess yelled.

Vomvom glared at the two of them and thundered off to lecture Princess about how she was never ever going to see the comet.

* * *

><p>Later that evening, Group Team all headed outside to see the comet. Princess had a telescope in his hands and was marching ahead while the others followed him. Kandy Kid appeared to have been bribed by a large bag of jellybeans and Vomvom had a rugby ball in her hands which she was throwing into the air and catching it again.<p>

"Vomvom, pass here." Superkella said.

"Nah." Vomvom replied as she poked her tongue out.

"Woah. Fine then." Superkella said as she pulled a face.

At that, Group Team had gone out the door. Indigo turned to Superkella. They both knew there was nothing good on TV and that they hadn't gone outside all day. Both sharing the same thoughts, they nodded at each other and got to their feet. They wandered out into the field around the outside of their hideout and saw that the sun was just setting. Group Team was lying on a grassy bank looking up at the sky.

"Hi!" Kandy Kid said happily.

"I knew you'd want to see the comet!" Princess replied.

Vomvom didn't say anything, she just threw her rugby ball into the air and caught it again.

"Vomvom said I'm a meat-anti-pedo-sheild!" Kandy Kid said proudly. "She said I have to sit here."

It was only then that Superkella and IIC noticed that Kandy Kid was between Princess and Vomvom even though Princess would've usually insisted on being in the middle. Superkella and IIC both sighed and lay on the bank with them. They lay next to Vomvom but put a bit of distance between the two so that people could tell they were two separate groups even though there was nobody around.

The five of them sat there talking for a while before Vomvom got to her feet. She began to kick the ball now. She hit it right into Dan's window. It bounced off and Vomvom caught it again. Kandy Kid got to his feet and grinned. He clapped his hands signalling to pass him the ball. Vomvom did so and watched as Kandy Kid kicked the ball with amazing precision into the exact middle of Dan's window. Dan opened the window and leaned out.

"Piss off!" He yelled.

Vomvom replied by kicking the ball into his face.

"BOOM! HEADSHOT!" She yelled.

Everyone laughed as Dan slammed his window shut in anger. Kandy Kid and Vomvom both sat down again.

"Look!" Indigo cried as she pointed into the sky.

"What?" Princess replied, looking around desperately.

"Nothing!" Indigo replied with the same level of enthusiasm as before.

"Screw you." Princess said.

At that moment, the comet came into view. Princess was the only one who was really interested by it. Superkella did enjoy acting smart and saying things she knew about comets while the other three were just bored. Vomvom got to her feet again.

"What's the bet I can hit it?" She asked.

"Nothing." Princess scoffed. "You can't hit a comet. It's thousands of miles awa…"

Vomvom then kicked the ball with all of her strength. The sound of her foot colliding with the ball cut Princess off mid sentence. They all watched as it zoomed into the sky. Princess took his telescope and watched with his mouth open in awe.

"It just hit the side!" He cried. "The comet's spinning… towards earth!"

"Vomvom!" Superkella snapped. "Look what you did!"

"What? It's not like it's going to hit us!" Vomvom shrugged.

Superkella began muttering to herself as she did some calculations in her head. Princess was also calculating. The two of them both stared at each other before both saying 'Russia' in unison.

"It's going to hit Russia?" Kandy Kid asked.

"Yeah. Probably." Superkella replied.

"Sucks to be Russian…" Indigo said.

"But in Soviet Russia, comet don't hit you, you hit comet." Kandy Kid said in confusion as if it were an actual fact.

"It's not landing in Soviet Russia." Superkella shrugged, not wanting to have to explain.

Indigo and Superkella both went back inside and sat on the couch again. Group Team all wandered back into their rooms as well. Indigo began flicking through TV channels when a breaking news report suddenly came on about Russia being hit by a meteor. The two of them both stared in silence before turning the TV off and heading to their room with the 'nothing to do here' face on.


End file.
